Is it Real, or Memorex?
As an English major at Pace university, I loved the writings of Luigi Pirandello. His works broke the separation between playwrights and audience. And even more significantly he blurred the concept of what is real and what is not.
He walked between the burning embers of what appeared to be fact and the flame of the imaginary. In works such as “Six Characters in Search of an Author” he completely broke down my awareness and consciousness of what was actual and what was hallucinatory.
When “I love you” turns to “I will a contract killer and have you wiped off the face of the earth” there is a problem. Things change over time, but does that mean that what is real changes too?
Was reality the love you felt when you first met your wife to be or is the hatred you feel for the lying bitch now? How do you determine which is real and not faith.
It’s all in the eyes and consciousness of the beholder. The essence and the core of it is that reality is not eternal but it is what you feel at that moment. Living in the present is all that’s real.
It is not unlike those who believe in an afterlife. As I ruminate about my past and think about five failed marriages, and a son who was ashamed of me, the collapse of my business and loss of everything I own – I ask myself where those experiences real? It happened so long ago that my past life doesn’t seem real anymore. It seems like a drug induced fairy tale instead of something that really happened.
My biggest flaw and personal failure was not accommodating the growth of the internet. At that time what was real to me was newsprint. The same failure has affected every other publisher, but not as much as me.
My failures are not uncommon. Living in the moment helped me create a small empire but also caused my downfall.
Enjoy those real moments now, while you have it because you will die one day. The moment is the only reality we can comprehend, but our true fate is in the hands of something else.
posted by Al Goldstein @ 10:00 AM
9 comments
9 Comments:
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Al,
You never mentioned the fact that you're an asshole anywhere in your post.
I have great respect for you. If it weren't for Screw magazine, I may very well have gone queer. I loved your rants on Midnight Blue, most of which I'm seeing for the first time on DVD. Bartlett's Quotations should have an entire volume dedicated to you.
Being as asshole in business can work to your advantage but with family and friends it won't get you very far. Instead of pondering reality itself, consider how you conducted your relations with your wives and son. We create our own realities.
On a totally unrelated note, Iran's president was speaking at Columbia a few minutes ago and said "Iran doesn't have any homosexuals." I laughed my ass off.
Mitch Haase
Al, for such a brilliant man, you had little knowledge of The Golden Rule, which is the simplest way to live life; and is part of all great religions. If you ONLY had treated all these wives as you wanted them to treat you, things might have been different. If you weren't so involved in actually believing 'you are your THINGS' and invested money wisely, paid off a house in the state where you can keep a house through bankruptcy, things would be fine. Don't hate those women for hating you, you reap what you sow....and if you're lucky, you'll have a chance to relive it all over again in the next life.
Al, I see no reason why you can't still find a backer, update your editorial slant and schmooze your way into the new cyber age. Just build a new site and label it in the past tense as in..."Screwed".
All you need are porn writers with something to say other than gossip and innuendo. After all, it was your charismatic personality and the horny man in the street that made Screw, not smut gliterati stars who bowed in your wake in your golden glory days of the 70s.
Why can't you write daily amidst ad revenue placements for sex toys and the like? Ask Booble to help you build a bigger following. Maybe Penn and Teller can help fund an online comeback. You made your blowbiz bones because you have literary talent. And a porn pen is a terrible thing to waste.
It's too bad that the company that released the five MIDNIGHT BLUE DVDs didn't release a sixth one that was devoted exclusively to your memorable MIDNIGHT BLUE editorials.
It has often been said that the rise of the internet was the main reason for SCREW's demise. However, I suspect that demographic trends in the metropolitan New York City area was another culprit as well. The decline of Manhattan's garment industry and the exodus of New York's white middle class which accelerated during the 1990s probably affected SCREW's circulation. Also,SCREW's demise was assured when you were no longer allowed to use it as your personal soapbox--thanks in large part to a certain Brooklyn district attorney and to a certain New York City judge. I miss the days when SCREW was filled with social and political commentary. SCREW lost its edge in mid 2002 when its covers no longer featured those acerbic and witty cartoon illustrations. Who else would have the chutzpah to skewer the Teletubbies, the Peanuts gang and Rudy Giuliani?
I liked it when he skewered Barney the Dinosuar on Midnight Blue. Barney running down the street, wearing a swastika arm-band, strap-on dildo, glass of scotch in hand, sieg heiling.
"I love you, you love me and if you love yourself, go fuck yourself. fuuuuuuuck you!"
That was funny as hell. Classic Al Goldstein!
The good old days of Screw in the 70s were no doubt porn's Roman Empire. Orgies at Platos were the rage, sleaze was chic, theaters were in vogue and porn public display hadn't been techied to death by ubitquitous home PCs.
The reason why old world talents like AG are now dust in the wind is that the zeitgeist has been fractured by US end day generation wigger/freakosexual/bohemian psycho. Mindless consumer sheep who have no taste or worthy opinions because they have been brainwashed by new age dreck.
When schmucks run the pop culture there is no more room for bright minds. Thus Al has to reinvent himself and turn to fellow nostalgic oldtimers and elders to plan a comeback.
When you're a victim of ageism, you must appeal to your friendly demographic, not new kids on the block who are free to ruin showbiz because they escaped a draft in Queen Dubya's oil war.
Hi, Al.
I can't imagine you'll take much solace in this fact, but your recent misfortune, as painful as it may be for you, makes your life story much more epic and compelling. I'm sure you'd rather be rich. But from an outsiders perspective, the narrative of your life is tragic and Shakespearian. The precise qualities that fed your success led to your eventual downfall. A man who would be king in one era would be a beggar in another. Times change, and not for the better.
I don't mean this to be condescending at all. But if someone makes a movie of your life, and I hope they do, the story got a lot better. The 'character' has become more sympathetic, sadder, and wiser.
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