My Favorite Fuck Films: The Devil Made Me Do It

Picking my ten favorite fuck films is as personal a choice as how you wipe your ass (over or under?) and how you pick your nose (which finger and how deep into the nostrils?). What preparation do you take before commencing to beat your meat? Do you initiate mental foreplay or are dispatch and speed the essence of this gymnastic foray into A) release and B) a heightened hedonistic experience. For me I just want to shoot my load and get rid of anxiety and the flood of tsunami-like backed up swirls of old and caged sperm moaning to be set free.

I don't list wanking on my Palm "To Do List." I don't put pissing or taking a shit on my schedule either. Some functions of the body you just remember to do until the Alzheimer's kicks in. But, as lists go, my top 10 all-time favorite stag films is not such a bad exercise. Several distinctions and admissions of my bias after 37 years of being a porn patron and the first professional reviewer of adult films in 1968. (I created the "Famous Peter Meter" that rated smut on the basis of how many hard-ons a film would evoke in my once young male piece of dick meat, now merely a shadow of its once legendry greatness.) The films shot in 35mm in the 70's and early 80's as compared to the video of today is like comparing the 1905 Great Train Robbery to a 100 million dollar big studio film. Technically superior to today's "one day wonders" were the actresses who actually believed in "make love and not war." They were not "wanna be" topless dancers who would make a few fuck films to gain a following and then become a "featured" dancer at the hundereds of clubs pockmarked throughout the U.S My favorites will include two of the films I starred in and gave Ron Jeremy penis envy. A couple of notes on personal criteria for inclusion in the Goldstein hall of shame: First, I must stay awake and engaged while viewing the film (or merely have sex with my dowdy old wife). Two, masturbation is based on fantasy and it's like a whiff of fresh air amidst the stench and rot of old and boring sexual partners. Routine and the predictable are the death knell and a good porn movie (and Booble) is the antidote. The novelty of THE NEW is a boon to our boners. Some people need the aid of pot or booze. For me me it's simply new pussy and a flimsy Victoria Secret pant set. What follows are my ten all time favorite fuck films that still get me hard and ready for a penis launch (and not a Challenger-like crash).

So, without teasing your cocks any further, I begin with number 10: The Devil In Miss Jones. Now considered a "classic," this 1972 gem directed by Gerry Damiano is the story of the prudish virgin sacrifice Miss Jones (admirably played by Georgina Spelvin) who begs the devil (John Clemins) for more time on earth. The devil grants her wish provided she spend the time "consumed by lust." How devilish. An actual story that's consistent throughout the film. Demiano is masterful with creative camera angles rather than just close-ups of genitalia pounding. And the cast can actually act as demonstrated by Spelvin's subsequent roles in mainstream flicks (Bad Blood, Red Ribbons, Famous Again, to name a few). Do yourself and your cock a favor and buy this tribute to sexual cinematography.

Coming in future blogs are favorites nine through one.

Losing My Online Virginity

I am a cheating and adulterous piece of shit, incapable of faithfulnes and fidelity. My cheating heart has dumped my old flame for the newest piece of snatch available. It's not pussy I'm moaning about, but rather my giving up the tape recorder and typewriter for this laptop computer.

In the last 36 years I've written millions of words for screw (now bankrupt) and 20 years of fuck film reviews for Penthouse (now bankrupt, too) and Playboy, Forbes, NY TIMES, New York Magazine and many, many others. But I have now found true love in the folds of my Dell computer and the vibrations of the curser as I manipulate HER smooth "skin" under my trembling touch. This is the most intimate relationship I have ever had. The connection between my brain and my fingers as I pound out these ideas for your edification is now making most direct trip possible. As a result I am now doing the best writing I have done because of the tactile excitement my fingertips feel as I vomit forth words of wisdom or at the very least, words of wiley wickednes.

This is fun. I hope someone out there is listening.

These porno sites are better then Viagra! I just jerked off to MILF Hunter. Twice. A 69 year old senior citizen has found the fountain of youth. I just cleaned the schmutz off my computer. Hooray for the Hunter! Viva the Internet!