Groundhog Day in June

What I have learned about men in my many years publishing Screw is that their brains are located in their penises. While I published Screw, I had men coming up to me all the time sharing their most intimate stories. I was like an obese version of Dr. Ruth. But unlike Dr. Ruth, the intimate stories I heard were all the same which made me feel more like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. Whether the person was respectably married for fifty years with four children or a roving bon vivant, it didn’t matter. He always wanted and lusted for sex with two women at the same time. He wanted to vicariously stare at the mingling and massaged flesh as if he had made a trip to the zoo. For him, looking at lesbian sex was like going to the gorilla house at the zoo.

It proved what naves and fools men are because of their hormonally-controlled, testosterone-filled bodies. His focus on the excess was a compensation for the tedious and boredom of his own love life. It also showed a real lack of creativity and original thought.

Kings sacrifice thrones and fortunes for new pussy. Suicide bombers kill themselves with the promise of two dozen new pieces-of-ass. But all porn and pussy is the same. After 20 years of fucking around I no longer bother to remember the names of the all the girls I have had. They are just “the occupant” in my mind.

This is why pornography is so boring to me. It is all the same stuff over and over again much like politics. Even the coverage is the same. All these political wonks on CNN and Fox News believe that there is a politician that is different and really cares and isn’t just seeking power for powers sake. We know this to be complete horseshit.

Men are just fooling themselves into thinking that new woman whether real, online or on-screen will bring them happiness. We are also fooling ourselves if we think anything is going to change in January 2009 with a new president. It is unfortunate but I probably will not be elected, yet I am the only real candidate who will shake things up.

I will leave you with this thought: unless we get some serious funding, my run for the presidency is as fantasy-saturated as your dream to fuck two hot lesbians at the same time.