Deadbeats of the World, Unite!

GOLDSTEIN, THE P.I.M.P.

I owe everyone and I owe no one. To break the chains of bondage in a capitalistic society is to be so bankrupt and so saturated by poverty that you have no more to lose. It is not unlike waking up as a nappy-haired black man and looking at the reflection of the new you in the mirror and realizing that you are white and going to lunch at the Harvard club. Except for me, it’s the other way around.

In this new discovered aura of personal freedom I wear clothes from the Salvation Army, depend on handouts from friends and the McDonald’s dollar menu for food.

When you are devoid of assets, property and businesses - credit card companies and society will treat you worse than a syph –laden whore. Because I owe every department store, record & book club, credit card company, Con Ed, Verizon, Time Warner and Bell South I am like a freed slave.

We pay our bills out of fear that society will crush us with bad credit report ratings but my credit is so bad at 72 it doesn’t matter. It reminds me of the line from the great Kris Kristofferson and Janis Joplin song: “you are free when you have nothing more to lose.”

They can’t put me behind bars because they no longer have debtors prison. And not paying all my past debts is the ultimate revenge. Unlike shylock in the merchant of Venice all they can take is my pound of flesh. I feel justified in striking back in the same way that my wives robbed me, in particular Christine whose farts smelled worse than her integrity. My deadbeat son had the audacity to have me spend over a million on Georgetown, Oxford, Harvard and still not invite me to his graduation. Since I cannot get back at my sons or wives or banks directly I get back at the corporations who attempt to screw us everyday. I can wish doom and gloom on corporate America. I can only kvell at today’s sub-prime mortgage fiasco. Vote for me, the Deadbeat candidate for President.