Marriage, Porn, and Rotting Fish

Take a pile of aging decaying fish and lay it in your sink. The stink of these barnacle–covered bottom-feeders will be enough to drive you out of the kitchen. Pornography is like the decomposition of fish in that it has the identity of old garbage and the same functionality. Pornography is an old marriage that has turned bad (a redundancy). Fifty percent of our most optimistic marriages end in divorce. One hundred percent of pornography turns into rotting gumbo and culinary nausea. Why are pornography and marriage such empty facsimiles of passion and the good life? Marriage is based on fantasy and no fantasy lasts, and pornography is the ultimate fantasy that a woman is more valuable than a chachka bought at Sharper Image. Pornography has the seeds of its own self-destruction and fairytale self-deceit. The best pornography is comprised of brief fantasies since anything of long duration is doomed to oblivion. These seeds I speak of include delusion, self-mockery, and the built-in humor of Jack and the Beanstalk, and Jack hoping his seeds will grow. The same self-deception that men use to make themselves believe their cocks are longer than they are, and their girlfriends are actually satisfied.

Pornography is the granddaddy of dirt, like ribs at a southern barbeque soaked in YOUR own juices. Pornography is a Booble binge, dry or wet, it satisfies our perverted palette. If you keep wacking off to pornography your mama will hurt you buy slapping the side of your face then the side of your balls. She’ll then tell you to stop buying lotto tickets, betting on the ponies, and to stop believing in the mumbo-jumbo of impossible odds. Whether you ejaculate and put a smile on your face or marry a cunt you like, pornography is the ultimate dream. It’s like a trip to Las Vegas where losers go throw away their kids’ college money on blackjack and $8.99 buffets.

All relationships are based on coercion and power, whether it’s George W. Bush spying on us or lobbyists and Congress robbing us. Pornography and politics all come from the same slime-bucket. Our soldiers continue to die in Iraq. Our government lies to our citizens like in Vietnam and once more we see democracy for what it truly is- a trip to Wonderland with a bitch named Alice.