Good Taste

My irrefutable mantra is that licking clit and asshole is the pause that refreshes. The memory of shoving my tongue deep in Linnea Quigley’s asshole is the highlight of my 71 years of living.

When we were living together, she would bring her tasty little body in front of me and after sucking on every crevice I would place her on her belly and bury my mouth in between her curvaceous cheeks. I would launch my tongue like a SCUD missile and lap her asshole with the gusto. I would eat her like she was Kobe beef and after 50 minutes when my jaws and tongue were filled with the pain of my excesses, I would flip her on her back and eat and worship her clit.

Her orgasms were so filled with earthquakes like tremors that I truly felt like I was in the Garden of Eden. Then Linnea in gratitude, appreciation and horniness would moan, “I want some of your Jew juice.” She was the finest cocksucker I have ever known and would blow me dry.

Even though we were engaged, I would give her $200 for each time I popped a load. But because I am a Jew I had to try to get a deal. So she got $200 for the first ejaculation at the beginning of the week and then only $100 thereafter. The more times I came, the more money I saved. If I could come four times a week that meant that rather than spending $800, I spent $500. That was a $300 dollar savings!

To fine tune our gluttony for the bush we had to think about why we lick the holy hole. We probably didn’t like pussy the first time we licked it. Who liked chili or coffee or beer the first time? But it is truly an acquired taste. Fungiform papillae are the structures that house our tastebuds. Supertasters have more finely tuned structures to taste. Therefore I must be a Supertaster of pussy.

There is a professor of psychology who said there is a very personal and emotional component to lapping the labia. Our gustatory tongue prints are determined by three basic characteristics: who we choose to eat, who we refuse to eat (in my case it is fat or smelly women) and lastly our specific techniques for oral gymnastics.

Humans are an omnivorous species and we share the characteristics of other mammals. Our nearest relatives are foxes, mongooses, bears and brown rats. We avoid reptiles and insects like slugs and earthworms. As Descartes said “ I lick therefore I am”. Eating pussy is not like eating a banana split. It is active and makes me feel like a he-man. The pay off is the happiness I give the pussy in front of me, and the mouthfeel I get from my activity. Licking pussy has given me pleasure for the last 56 years of my life and it is so much a habit and part of my personality that I believe in the very near future that I will be licking the balls of my puppy.