Worshiping the iPhone

We are now seven weeks away from the next Consumer Electronics Show. For the last 25 years that would be the most exciting organized event of my life. For those four days that trade show would be packed with the newest gadgets and gizmos that would be rolled out in the next 12 months. Whether Sony, Panasonic or any other electronic company - the newest technology was an exciting thing to contemplate.

I used to have a newsletter called Gadget that afforded me the opportunity to be an insider in the technological world. I was more excited about CES than going to an orgy or a nudist camp.

The desire for new products produces a level of dissatisfaction with the status quo. It’s the grass, or public hair, is always greener theory. For instance, the point of the iPhone is to make you hate your own cell phone. All this new technology is meant to make us unhappy with our current things. It dooms us because "they” want us to think that tomorrow's products will improve our lives but they really do not. We have never been more alienated or busy in our lives. Instant messages, text message, emails, voicemails combine to gobble up all the time it was supposed to free up for us.

Technology, rather than liberating us, enslaves us. We become too dependant on it and the hope of something even better. Wanting the new Bluetooth and Blackberry can give you a wicked case of blue balls.

The new religion has become electronic products. People actually worship Apple, a company. Why aren’t they considered a cult? Maybe we should send the DEA to Cupertino to break it up, just like we did to the Koreshians in Waco.

We are enslaved by the promises of technology’s possibilities and its actual limitations.

Going to CES was like going to a topless club knowing that the strippers aren’t going to fuck you. And yet, given all that - I can't resist those sleek, shiny things and still want to go. Anyone have an extra ticket?