My name is Columbus...

In lieu of the Puerto Rican Parade, I got to thinking, my name should be the "Columbus of Females." My girlfriend decided that I am the Jewish equivalent of the Italian Columbus. I am even better, she said, because I have explored far more women than Columbus ever explored islands.

I know every nook and cranny of the female body, I have been to its bushes, crevices and tunnels. I have even gotten a taste of the delicious fruits that grow out of the female island (body). I have even explored the mountains (breasts). My tongue was my navigation tool.... far better than any compass of GPS system today.

My bonus, unlike Columbus, is that I could savor every moment with my senses and enjoy the warmth of the new "islands" (female bodies). I guess all my "islands" would be tropical though, because of their warmth. If I got money from the Queen of Spain for every exploration that I made I would probably be richer than Bill Gates.