Michael Jackon's Porn

Thank god I got some visitors yesterday. I guess blogging is not a complete waste of time. This comment was my favorite, I guess:

This is like being cornered by your drunk uncle at a wedding and having to listen to his bullsh*t about the good ol' days as he leers at your girlfriend. That said, I like it.

If you're bored or old like me then you've breathlessly followed the Michael Jackson trial, awaiting yet one more big payoff, which turns out to be... ME! That's right, your own Booble blogging, faster then a speeding bullet (at least when I'm fucking), Alvin Goldstein, First Prince of Porn, Pusher of Pussy, Collector of everything carnal. My ten year old book, My 100 Favorite Fuck Films, was also a favorite of Michael Jackson. According to Court TV last week, it was reported that copies of my book were found in his bedroom at Neverland. Despite the Jackson connection, the book doesn't feature child porn (which I detest) but rather my favorite porno picks including Deep Throat. (Linda Lovelace blew me in 1973 and I ran the photos in Screw but had to block my face since I was married at the time (my 3rd wife). She recognized my dwarf-like cock because it curves to the right. The better to get past your teeth, my dear.) I also praised Behind the Green Door and 98 other classic smut films shot before video and the dilution of a once proud genre. Today's porn is like a hippo with diarrhea: smelly and without distinction but large in volume. It is rumored I might be subpoenaed as a witness I would love to meet Michael and have him suck on my aged kike kock, which is like a mature, vintage wine, with a great bouquet and nose (an appendage that Michael sadly lacks).