I’m Gay and So Are You

Idaho Senator Larry Craig said he is not gay even though he was arrested for disorderly conduct in an airport restroom notorious for cruising. A firestorm of controversy is surrounding him and I am sure Craig’s public relations people and family are going crazy about what to do next. I have a simple solution. Tell the truth. You are gay. Say you are gay and be proud and all of this will eventually go away.

Here, I will take your by soft and pretty little hand and make it easy for you.

Even though I had sex with over 7,000 women, I’ve admitted in the past that I have sucked about a half dozen cocks. I am proud to say I am bisexual and intend to go fully homo in the weeks to follow. I want to be the first presidential candidate to admit to sucking cock and the first to turn fully gay mid-campaign.

Here is why: no gay ever picked my pocket or robbed the contents of my home. My fifth wife and her family were thieving gypsies and most of my money was lost or stolen by women. This is mainly why I am broke today.

I haven’t had sex with a live woman in a long time and I am not a necrophiliac. I’ve decided that as long as the flesh is pulsating and blood is flowing through its veins, I want it. I am willing to suck cock regularly as long as he has a nice home and takes me out to dinner once a week, someplace nice like Bice.

I am not scared to admit this and be proud of it. And when he comes in my mouth it shows I can give pleasure as well as receive it, which is good for my ego.

So ahead and spread the word. I’m a gay and I am running for President of the United States of America. And by the way, Senator Craig if you are listening, will you endorse me?