For the Love of Clinton

You know I love pussy and cigars. And you know I’m a lifelong Democrat. So you would think I love Bill Clinton, but I don’t. In fact, I fucking hate him.

First, he threw my magazine, Screw, out of the Military PX after 35 years, which really hurt my business and contributed to its decline. What better audience for porn than young, bored and horny men. That's American morality (or lack of it). Killing is ok, but masturbation is verboten.

Second, a pussy is a terrible humidor. It’s way too moist and hot. Fortunately, a nice thick Cubano, I believe it was a Montechristo #2, can withstand anything. Speaking of Monica Lewdinsky (I misspelled it on purpose), Clinton didn’t even lick her pussy or fuck her, so he could say he didn’t “have sexual relations” with her. What a loser. That was the Montecristo having sex with that young woman, not me, Hilllary! Nice try, bubba.