Republican Flesh Eaters

I love blood and gore movies and I am zombie movie fiend. Just several years ago I was engaged to the most delicious ass and pussy I have ever eaten. Her name was Linnea Quigley. She was in many zombie movies and was the ultimate “scream queen.” She has appeared in more than a 1000 films, the most famous was the sequel to Night of the Living Dead. I first fell in love with her when she was in a controversial movie called "Silent Night, Deadly Night" in which Santa Claus was a maniac who impaled her on the horns of a reindeer.

Linnea had the perfect body and even though I am the world’s most famous pussy eater I spent a lot of time eating her ass and toes because they were so yummy. In Florida, after I ate her ass and pussy for at least an hour she sucked my cock until what she called my “Jew juice” spewed out. I miss her labia but I must admit I had to pay her for each lick. She would get 200 dollars for sex but in the same week, if I came again, she would only charge me another hundred. For a bargain-seeking Jew like me, this was a dream.

As I watched the Republican debates last night and stared at the ten rich, privileged Caucasians who want the power of the presidency, I realized that there are a few countries left in the world that we haven’t bombed yet. With Fidel’s death imminent, Cuba is safe. We do not have the balls to fuck with Syria or Iran, and China has a protective shell because it is the main supplier of tschotskes to Wal-Mart.

During the debates, all the candidates articulated their antiquated beliefs in abortion and stem cell research. They were all clones of each other and are what I call politician-zombies. They are like Jason, Freddy Krueger and Mike Myers all wrapped up into one horrific recurring nightmare. I must note that it is ironic that Rudolph Giuliani was the most liberal person on the stage yet he was the one who closed the porno shops in Times Square and tried to take down Screw.