Life's a Bitch, And Then . . .

The pods steal our humanity in the movie "The Body Snatchers" and leave an empty shell behind. Marriage is no different for men. As men we have to retool our inner wiring and give up the delusion of finding happiness in the embrace of a woman. We seek the authenticity of that illusion called "love" and instead find the wreckage of the ruins of a sunken ship many fathoms under the frigid and ominously murky ocean. Another reality of loving is that marriage turns into mayhem, litigation and a desire to silence the strife with an arsenic cocktail for your one-time "beloved." She has been transformed into a reptilian creature that wants to devour you. You are a character in a Kafka story. Standing on an execution platform as you stare at the blade of the bloody Guillotine awaiting your neck, how has the promise and pride of that celebratory marriage ceremony turned from joy and jubilation to the somber reality and stench of decomposing flesh, dead dreams, unrealized hopes now dashed and demolished, turned into the fragments of dead dreams.

In marriage we sought a safe haven from the trials and tribulations of a cold and hostile world. Instead we're sucked into a vortex of pain and tsunami-like horror. We have embarked on the oldest relationship since Adam and Eve: A partnership between the hunter and hunted. As men we become the prey and the hunted in a marriage. We are enmeshed as part of the animal kingdom, which, of course, is what we are. Like the killer whale and its food, the fur seal, before the woman destroys us she castrates us. That is a blessing because there is less for us to wash. The antidote to this female poison (outside of adopting a homosexual lifestyle) and safe conduct from the shadow of pussy is as follows: Be patient and keep reading. Immunity and salvation await you.

Marriage has a success rate similar to our president's war efforts in Iraq or his lame response to the effects of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. Actually, the net effect of marriage on a man is very similar to every major initiative of our administration: a day late, a dollar short and full of excuses. There must be a remedy and there is. The main one is NEVER MARRY!!!!! I should know -- I married five times and my current poverty is absolute proof and validation that marriage tears your heart and wallet apart. Don't marry!! So why did I break my vows? My cock sold me out. My male testosterone levels and my quest for release and search for pleasure. A drive so intense than men have given up the throne, fallen out of the Garden of Eden, left happy marriages, gotten blowjobs in the White House, started wars, spied, killed their children and families and lost weight, moved and sought economic power over the elusive cunt. Of course the animal kingdom mirrors our being held captive by our gender hormones. Becoming a eunuch is a sound option. Celibacy in religious philosophies would shield us from our humanity. But the best way to spit in the face of our anatomy is masturbation. Our cock is the tool but pornography and Booble-endorsed web sites are the instruments and implementation of our salvation from the blandishments of the seductive and toxic pussy. Like the Sirens who want us to crash into the rocks, women want to seduce us into self-destruction. If we could just learn to shoot our loads, we would avoid their manipulation. Your best course of action is to pop a load, take a nap, eat some chocolate and think of marriage as suicide and decapitation. Frontal lobotomy may be the choice. Next blog I will share my thoughts on inflatable partners.