The Spookiest Place on Earth: The Human Vagina

As the Halloween season is upon us, I'm compelled to relate to my readers warnings about what possibly could be the most mysterious and scary phenomenon known to man: the human vagina. Many men believe that pussies have sharp teeth in their interior. According to Sigmund Freud, it is part of our fear of castration. Believe it or not, there are rare instances when a vagina will develop dermatoid cysts that mature into teeth. These dermatoid cysts are generally found in the folds of skin, like in the ear or vagina. Imagine a woman with teeth in her ear and pussy -- your tongue and cock could be bitten off at the same time! The medical community assures us that even with these teeth-like dermatoid cysts, the vagina is not able to bite. I'm not buying it. Some men won't eat pussy because of their horror of the cannibalistic vagina biting their tongue off and consuming their flesh.

Females don't have a proud cock, like the male of the species, but rather a huge hole -- like a hatchet wound. The pussy is of interest for what's not there rather than for what should be there: An appendage! An unfurled flag! A tall proud pole of pride! Instead there is nothing on the outside. Hiding like a bat in its dark and dank and moist cavern, not willing to face the sunlight like a proud gunslinger is the cowardly cunt, hiding in its intestinal darkness. That is but one more reason for men to hate the subterranean perils of pussy. It IS THE ENEMY! Coveted but feared. Sought after but hated. Congress with the enemy is our fate and doom. Even though we hate this hairy alien that will conquer us with its embellishment (blandishments), trapping us with its ploys, lies and manipulations, holding our cock-head to the flame of our desires to shoot a load and make claim to this Venus Fly Trap. We are the male black widow about to be consumed in the jaws of the female. So why do we want to control and dominate its cuntiness? Because we are the Alpha Male and it is our destiny to have the illusion of victory and superiority. But it is only an illusion, a myth, a frabrication, a fairy tale.

The reality of the "battle of sexes" is that women have already won. They've won in the past and will continue to win in the future. In the face of this unchangeable reality man has created a Disney world of illusion and fantasy. It is based on the fable that we will delineate the perimeter of her sexuality. This geography of gash presupposes a power that we don't have. It is like teaching the family dog to flush and use toilet paper. Impossible! So we try and train the fem in our life to "fetch" and be faithful to us. That is the impossible dream. We try and brainwash her into believing that female fidelity is God's order, the natural order, the right way and the moral way. The woman mutters to herself "bullshit!" She will not buy into our attempts to define and curtail her sexuality. We call her "slut," "tramp," and "trollop" and any other dismissive adjective we can think of as we insist on our "perogatives" to impregnate any other partner we can catch and corner and plummet. And the tooth-framed cunt gives us the finger and continues to fuck away. Our frailty, our vulnerability, our impotence are to no avail as we try to limit the pussy's sexuality and enlarge ours in the face of her abilty to have multiple orgasims, while we can have only one. At swing clubs women are beloved because of their enlarged sexual preformance and appetite. We pop once, then poop. God has enslaved us once more. We are nailed to the cross of creation's dirty little joke. That we are men (and mouse). Men, fear the spookiest bat cave of all this Halloween -- the cavernous cunt!