Mirages are a bonanza for the human soul

The old cliché that fame is fleeting is the truest one I have ever known. The only thing more fleeting is the money in your pocket and the love that some bimbo wants to bestow on you.

Why is my phone so quiet and my social calendar so empty? It is because I am no longer The Al Goldstein but a hologram of that fat, rich bastard. The friends who have been loyal to me include Penn Gillette, Booble Bob, Herald Fahringer, James the filmmaker who made a great documentary on me and my totally incompetent lawyer Charles who makes a living losing cases for me. James is a selfish, self-centered pile of steaming whale shit because he won’t even introduced his girlfriend to me, much less let me lick her. I know he is scared that once she meets me, he would be dumped.

The celebrities who have dumped me like an ex-girlfriend include Larry Flynt, Howard Stern, Ron Jeremy, Hugh Heffner. Alec Baldwin. I could go on and on about non-celebrities who dumped me but since you don’t know who they are, it doesn’t matter.

The lesson for me is the illusion of friendship when you have money in your pocket is like being some water starved person who is walking on the sands in the Arabian desert seeing a mirage of himself and believing its real. It is not. Mirages are a bonanza for the human soul. Whether it is LSD, Valium or a new Mercedes, anything that alters reality into the self-deception that it is meaningful is a fool and a naïve.