Mirages are a bonanza for the human soul
The old cliché that fame is fleeting is the truest one I have ever known. The only thing more fleeting is the money in your pocket and the love that some bimbo wants to bestow on you.
Why is my phone so quiet and my social calendar so empty? It is because I am no longer The Al Goldstein but a hologram of that fat, rich bastard. The friends who have been loyal to me include Penn Gillette, Booble Bob, Herald Fahringer, James the filmmaker who made a great documentary on me and my totally incompetent lawyer Charles who makes a living losing cases for me. James is a selfish, self-centered pile of steaming whale shit because he won’t even introduced his girlfriend to me, much less let me lick her. I know he is scared that once she meets me, he would be dumped.
The celebrities who have dumped me like an ex-girlfriend include Larry Flynt, Howard Stern, Ron Jeremy, Hugh Heffner. Alec Baldwin. I could go on and on about non-celebrities who dumped me but since you don’t know who they are, it doesn’t matter.
The lesson for me is the illusion of friendship when you have money in your pocket is like being some water starved person who is walking on the sands in the Arabian desert seeing a mirage of himself and believing its real. It is not. Mirages are a bonanza for the human soul. Whether it is LSD, Valium or a new Mercedes, anything that alters reality into the self-deception that it is meaningful is a fool and a naïve.
Why is my phone so quiet and my social calendar so empty? It is because I am no longer The Al Goldstein but a hologram of that fat, rich bastard. The friends who have been loyal to me include Penn Gillette, Booble Bob, Herald Fahringer, James the filmmaker who made a great documentary on me and my totally incompetent lawyer Charles who makes a living losing cases for me. James is a selfish, self-centered pile of steaming whale shit because he won’t even introduced his girlfriend to me, much less let me lick her. I know he is scared that once she meets me, he would be dumped.
The celebrities who have dumped me like an ex-girlfriend include Larry Flynt, Howard Stern, Ron Jeremy, Hugh Heffner. Alec Baldwin. I could go on and on about non-celebrities who dumped me but since you don’t know who they are, it doesn’t matter.
The lesson for me is the illusion of friendship when you have money in your pocket is like being some water starved person who is walking on the sands in the Arabian desert seeing a mirage of himself and believing its real. It is not. Mirages are a bonanza for the human soul. Whether it is LSD, Valium or a new Mercedes, anything that alters reality into the self-deception that it is meaningful is a fool and a naïve.
posted by Al Goldstein @ 2:30 PM
20 comments
20 Comments:
What about me al? Anonymous I've been a pretty good friend through thick and thin?
al, if you truly feel that life is meaningless, why haven't you killed yourself?
Hey Al,
Do you miss being fat?
Mitch Haase
Hey Al,
What about some of your Midnight Blue Buddies Steve Kraus, Steve Gruberg & Nora Parks?
L.G.
I understand how you feel Al and heroin has maintained the illusion for me.
Al, you have many more people who love you and care for your well-being than you think. I'm always asked by inquiring minds, 'How's Al doing?' and they truly want to hear that you're well and alive. You're still laughing and shitting...and connected to this world; in spite of all you've been through. So keep on truckin....Moose
Al, the woe is me schtick is getting old. US of A is being sold down the crapper to globalists and the 3rd world and you're still worried that new age dreck celebs no longer kiss your ass. Who cares?
Put your ego to bed, take your meds and grow up. Rather than bitch and moan about how you are no longer porno king shit, tend to your emotional health and well being.
Live in the glorious past. For anyone over 40, the past is much better and more interesting than the present or future.
Pretend it is the 70s, treat us to porno fireside chats and fuck the new age sicko zeitgeist.
America is a dying nation. Within 50 years we'll be outnumbered and sacked by Juan and friends.
We're here for you to be your shrink. Just be the grand storyteller you are and outlive your comtempories. That is the best revenge.
Al, don't pay attention to these comments, most of the people that comment here have boring and uninteresting lives.
Take a look at me for example, just yesterday I
And another thing, I would say John Holmes cock has had a more interesting life than all of us put together.
hey anonymous, if you consider disease-ridden an "interesting life" you should move to san francisco and hang out in a bathhouse for a few years.
I would pay money to watch Al masturbate, live or on video. Anyone else?
I would pay money to see Al and Mitch masturbate together.
I would also pay money to see John Holmes' Cock masturbate itself.
i am glad to see a community of my readers forming. mavel tov.
AG
yep, were all going to get together and have The First Annual Blog of Screw Magazine Founder Al Goldstein Comment Posters Open Invitational Stroke-A-Thon.
And you get to be the judge Al.
Mazel Tov indeed!
fuck all that, i just want to see al jerking off.
goddamnit al, get a $20 webcam and make a video of yourself masturbating.
Hey Al, cheer up! There is more to life than money. For example, fucking. If I had to choose between money and fucking, I'd chose fucking. And you know why? Because you told me so, in the pages of your magazine! Just stay on your meds, get off probation, and get laid as much as possible. Life is good.
Good Luck!
Some anonymous commenters act like Booble mods in putting down posters. But Al represents free speech and there is nothing we can't say to him.
Let him rant. He's in his twilight years. And a Jew without money and fame is like a plant without sun and water.
And I thought Bonanza was a western TV show from the 60s...
Al, be glad you don't get to meet and greet with these "celebrites". Who really cares if one has dinner with "Flavor of the Year"? Everybody that's famous now, with perhaps a few exceptions, will be largely forgotten. How many people do you know that are talking about Sarah Bernhardt or Greta Garbo these days? Yet, in the time, they were the "talk of the town". It's all fleeting Al. You couldn't pay me to sit down and talk to 99.9 percent of the celebrities out there. Besides, what's worth knowing can-if one digs for it-be found on the World Wide Web. You don't need the "insights" of someone like Britney Spears to live a good life.
You look good. Instead about bitching about who Fucked you how about those you fucked. You seem healthy. Me I am not, no money either but even if I had money it would not make me feel better or help me get better. I use to look up to you and thought you were so smart. You talk about friends. What about Family. You know Family. Instead of worrying who you ate or who you are going to eat with be glad you have something to eat.
You talk about those that hurt you. What about those that you hurt. And what about the people that helped you get to the top. You fucked them. What comes around goes around. Money is not everything but I sure wish I had some now also. You complain no wants to help you now. Did you help your family.
Happy Hanukkah
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