DVD's, Pet Peeves and Larry Flynt

While you computer nerds have continued your beaver hunt seeking the freshest, newest and most twisted pussy on the Internet, I have been a productive human being and an important cog in the apparatus of civilization.

Alas, I do find time to continue to stroke my meager meat while looking at my favorite porn in the whole world. Old issues of Screw are as exciting as reading the Old Testament. And the various and sundry offerings on the various porn sites get me as hard as looking at the tires on the new Lexus SUV.

Lately, I have discovered Hustler DVD’s such as Larry’s Angels starring Memphis Monroe and Joey Hart. The pussies, the thin ankles, the athletic cock sucking, the spread-wide canyons of pussy flesh and the gusto of the carryings on (even though fake) get me rock hard. Even at age 70 I am now jerking off every day. Although, I have noticed that my cock has shrunk to miniscule proportions. It is no longer horse-like, but sea-horse like.

The one cliché in the Hustler films that I find as gross as fatty pastrami is when one girl sucks a wad of sperm juice and lets it ooze and lubricate the larynx of her girlfriend. It's like spittle making a break for freedom. She first gargles the cum like it is Lavoris, and it would be quite a bonus if it killed germs too. But instead she now smells like hanging testicles.

Let’s give Flynt and his magnificent editor Bruce David credit for helping to get a senior citizen, Korean War veteran and porno patriarch like me off. What is even better is that this DVD is free! It comes with the September 2006 edition of Hustler. To hell with the magazine and Larry Flynt’s need to lubricate the wheels of his wheelchair - this cripple is rich enough. If I had given my readers DVD’s with issues of Screw in the late 90’s, Screw would never have gone bankrupt.