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Thursday, November 08, 2007

Worshiping the iPhone


We are now seven weeks away from the next Consumer Electronics Show. For the last 25 years that would be the most exciting organized event of my life. For those four days that trade show would be packed with the newest gadgets and gizmos that would be rolled out in the next 12 months. Whether Sony, Panasonic or any other electronic company - the newest technology was an exciting thing to contemplate.

I used to have a newsletter called Gadget that afforded me the opportunity to be an insider in the technological world. I was more excited about CES than going to an orgy or a nudist camp.

The desire for new products produces a level of dissatisfaction with the status quo. It’s the grass, or public hair, is always greener theory. For instance, the point of the iPhone is to make you hate your own cell phone. All this new technology is meant to make us unhappy with our current things. It dooms us because "they” want us to think that tomorrow's products will improve our lives but they really do not. We have never been more alienated or busy in our lives. Instant messages, text message, emails, voicemails combine to gobble up all the time it was supposed to free up for us.

Technology, rather than liberating us, enslaves us. We become too dependant on it and the hope of something even better. Wanting the new Bluetooth and Blackberry can give you a wicked case of blue balls.

The new religion has become electronic products. People actually worship Apple, a company. Why aren’t they considered a cult? Maybe we should send the DEA to Cupertino to break it up, just like we did to the Koreshians in Waco.

We are enslaved by the promises of technology’s possibilities and its actual limitations.

Going to CES was like going to a topless club knowing that the strippers aren’t going to fuck you. And yet, given all that - I can't resist those sleek, shiny things and still want to go. Anyone have an extra ticket?

12 Comments:

At 6:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al, if I had the money, not only would you have an extra ticket to CES, but you would also be staying in the nicest hotel suite in Las Vegas, I would treat you to the finest meals and pussy Vegas has to offer and any electronic gizmo you want or don't want, I'll buy! Let's hope I win the lottery between now and CES!

 
At 8:01 PM, Blogger Cecil Howard Fan said...

I would be much happier if I were able to purchase DVDs that feature the uncensored, original theatrical versions of the classic VCA titles instead of the latest DVD machines. Larry Flynt may have purchased all of the titles from VCA but his company only sells the butchered, "sanitized" versions of the Henry Paris titles as well as such classics as FOR THE LOVE OF PLEASURE, SMOKER, EASY ALICE, SECOND SKIN, RAW TALENT and MIDNIGHT HEAT. Those particular versions were available during the early 1990s when VCR machines were the current rage. Blu-ray DVD players might be ideal when watching the latest CGI-laden Hollywood blockbuster but I prefer watching TAPESTRY OF PASSION instead.

 
At 1:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

al,

you are wrong about modern communication taking up more time.

without a cell phone, i would be tied to an office all day. with a cell phone, i can go out and enjoy life and not worry about missing calls.

you are blurring technology with materialism. they are not the same thing. technology does not advance to please gadget fanatics. it advances to make life better.

 
At 1:45 AM, Blogger georgetheatheist said...

Al, at what Senior Center are you eating at? Are you playing bingo and dancing the cha-cha?

 
At 10:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Problem with today's gadgets is that they make them all too small and for kids so you have to wear coke bottle glasses to use them.

Better to attend CES to see the new big HD TVs which let us older people see better. The IPhone is much too small to bother with.

 
At 1:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al, I still don't have a cell phone, computer, fax machine, copy machine (I own a business; but go to Kinkos). I don't own a washing machine, dryer, dish washer,(I own a $700,000 home); I go to public laundry-mat and dry clothes on a line in the sun; and wash dishes by hand. Your possessions end up owning you...Less is best...frees up time to enjoy life. Moose

 
At 2:15 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Al,

Cell phones are good for banging bitches on the side.

Mitch Haase

 
At 2:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This "addiction" to technological trinkets is called "idolotry". It has just taken another form for today. Al, worshipping idols found in the market has been going probably well before the writing of the the first aleph in the Tanach.

 
At 9:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

• Worshiping John Holmes' cock and wishing your cock was that big is called "idolatry".

• Worshipping Michael Jordan and wishing you could play Basketball they way he does is called "idolatry".

• Wishing your bank account looked liked Bill Gates' is called "idolatry".

I could go on and on...

 
At 4:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

• Masturbating to Morgan Fairchild and wishing you could bang a woman like that is called "idolatry."

 
At 6:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And playing semantics or putting down posters at a porn king's blog is called mod censorship.

 
At 1:06 PM, Blogger Al Goldstein said...

i am the only one allowed to badmouth people around here!
AG

 

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