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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

I’m Gay and So Are You

Idaho Senator Larry Craig said he is not gay even though he was arrested for disorderly conduct in an airport restroom notorious for cruising. A firestorm of controversy is surrounding him and I am sure Craig’s public relations people and family are going crazy about what to do next. I have a simple solution. Tell the truth. You are gay. Say you are gay and be proud and all of this will eventually go away.

Here, I will take your by soft and pretty little hand and make it easy for you.

Even though I had sex with over 7,000 women, I’ve admitted in the past that I have sucked about a half dozen cocks. I am proud to say I am bisexual and intend to go fully homo in the weeks to follow. I want to be the first presidential candidate to admit to sucking cock and the first to turn fully gay mid-campaign.

Here is why: no gay ever picked my pocket or robbed the contents of my home. My fifth wife and her family were thieving gypsies and most of my money was lost or stolen by women. This is mainly why I am broke today.

I haven’t had sex with a live woman in a long time and I am not a necrophiliac. I’ve decided that as long as the flesh is pulsating and blood is flowing through its veins, I want it. I am willing to suck cock regularly as long as he has a nice home and takes me out to dinner once a week, someplace nice like Bice.

I am not scared to admit this and be proud of it. And when he comes in my mouth it shows I can give pleasure as well as receive it, which is good for my ego.

So ahead and spread the word. I’m a gay and I am running for President of the United States of America. And by the way, Senator Craig if you are listening, will you endorse me?

12 Comments:

At 4:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al I cant wait until the Dominatrix friend of yours puts a cock in your mouth, you old fruitcake.

 
At 2:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

just possibly your most courageous post yet.

 
At 3:49 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Al,

I am the same way.

You should check out my blog. It is all about jerking off to thoughts of men while remaining 100% heterosexual.

Mitch Haase

http://mitchhaase.blogspot.com

 
At 3:36 PM, Blogger Mmothra said...

I'd do you, Al. I like the older guys!

 
At 4:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will you marry a transsexual and make her your first lady?

or "first cocksucker"?

 
At 5:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps you can choose Larry Craig as your running mate and the two of you can do campaign whistle stop tours of men's restrooms in airports and train stations that are homosexual pick-up points.

You can call it:
Al and Larry's Gay Cruising Campaign Tour!

VH1 can turn it into a celebreality show.

 
At 11:26 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Al,

What does smegma taste like?

Mitch Haase

 
At 9:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"What does smegma taste like?"

Thats a good first "Cheesy" question to ask a gay jew running for president.

 
At 1:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, great Screwed one. I'm afraid that you're grossly misinformed on current events. Uncloseted fags in DC are tragic and unworthy of pity.

A queer nation cabal of new global disorder hedonists posing as family value politicians are picking our pockets and selling this country as we speak.

And like human predators in the wild, their only loyalty is to elitist corruption and shadow government perversion.

As a result, Western Rome is falling and old wise folks like you who should know better are fiddling in the wind.

Wake up, Al.

 
At 3:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't be too quick to label yourself queer alvin, the fucking homos have ruined everything.

if it weren't for the goddamn uppity militant homosexuals shoving their aggressive agenda down everyone's throats, i would have no problem with any of them.

until average, peace-loving homos stand up to the wacko fringe, i am going to stay as far away from all of these flaming buttfucking faggots as i can.

again, i could care less what consenting adults do behind closed doors but when the mass media portrays queerness as a superior lifestyle, i will do whatever i can to raise my sons as pussy-loving, straight men.

fight the power!

 
At 11:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Al, why the fuck would you do that?

The queers have ruined everything.

The queers are partly responsible for "Political Correctness" which has ruined our language.

Normal homosexual people are fine but "gay culture" is base and vulgar and should not be on public display.

 
At 11:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A lot of "straight" older men turn to Gay sex later in life, usually getting blowjobs from dedicated cocksuckers in public restrooms, parks, adult books stores, porno theaters, and meeting online.

The simple reason is that their wives go through menopause and lose interest in sex. The men need an outlet and a mistress is usually too risky or too expensive. Women confuse sex and love too easily, and a mistress can get bitchy and start whining about "when are you going to leave your wife?"

But a cocksucker just wants to blow you. So a lot of married men stop by the old porno shop on the way home from golf and shove their cock through the hole and get sucked off. Or, they setup something online, so they have a "regular" outlet for their needs (and there are plenty of cocksuckers out there willing to service, too!) What's the harm in it?

I say Go AL! But think about being a "top" first. There would be a line around the block to suck you off....

 

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