Fat Birds Flock Together

Flab is as familiar as our friends so it is no wonder that according to a new study, obesity is contagious.

The most successful business in the United States, aside from religion is the diet industry. Dieting is like playing Three-Card Monte, you cannot win.

Addicts, whether gambling, drug or otherwise, lack constraint and self control. An example of the self-destructiveness that flows from this inability to curb our excess was proven once again by the arrest of Lindsay Lohan this weekend. It seems like she is attempting to break the ropes of childhood and human restraint. It is not some random incident that her friends are as self-destructive as she is. Although she lacks obesity, she has every other human ailment that causes pain and futility in the human condition.

The old cliché that Birds of a Feather Flock together illustrates well how addicts hang out together. You can see this pattern at just about any Anonymous style meeting. The Framingham study reinforced the pattern of being influenced by those around you. There is a famous philosophical tenet that says: in the valley of the blind, the one eyed man is king. This penchant for emulating our chubby friends is proven to going to any OA or weight watcher meeting or buffet table. Fat people love other fat people because they know that their pals will be less judgmental and they justify their model becomes one of excessive eating.

Following the methodology of this recent study, I believe that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. In my hope that rather than another gastric bypass surgery (I have gone from 400 to 175 pounds) I am going to start hanging out with men with huge penises so that my cock will grow.