

Writing is a two way job. It’s a quid pro quo kind of communication. It is not unlike fucking, where the response of your partner impacts the enjoyment of the act. As a writer the response from your audience helps define your effectiveness as a word master. Most of the women whose clitori I have licked or whose mouth I filled with my cock found pleasure in my generosity. Doing this weekly blog for Booble, the response of my audience (you) helps define my effectiveness as a communicator. Though my ability to generate orgasm and clitoral trembling on the part of my ex-wives, girlfriends and out of work prostitutes, my judgment of the blog audience is much more dismal. It is no wonder that you gallop though this web page in search of some reaffirmation that you are not the zombie you seem to be.
My report card for the last two years about your qualities, intelligence and general capability as human beings proved to me that you are a defective and pathetic bunch of losers.
The last ten blogs I ground out was not met with the seal-like applause my utterances deserved but were rather met by the fog of stupidity and lack of comprehension. Rather than respond to my coherent and insightful words, you as an audience instead repeated the same joke ten times, mostly about me wrapping my body in shit, the importance of Trotsky (Assholes! If he is that important, move back to Russia) and the price of cellular phone services in Sweden. As an audience you are an embarrassment to our public school system and our hopes for a literate populace. You are mindless dumbbells, who have the same trouble manipulating your keyboard as you do your cocks.
You get confused and have early Alzheimer’s as you mix up pissing, shitting and masturbating. You are failures, flawed and even Darwin would say you’ve gone backwards. In survival of the fittest you are the personification and embodiment of de-evolution.
This is the first time I have actually had an audience that read me and responded to me. With Screw my “readers” were jerking off in stairwells and desperately calling hookers and phone sex ad. I had always hoped that I was proud of my audience but now I am ashamed of them. You are like kindergarten children trying to understand Einstein.
72 Comments:
Al,
You're the one clearly in the latter stages of Alzheimer's. No one here has ever discussed "the importance of Trotsky" or "price of cellular phone services in Sweden." Look through the responses, read this blog again, and then tell me who *really* has the comprehension issue.
That you would spit on the grave of your Jewish brother (Leon Trotsky, of righteous memory) while ignoring the vicious antisemitism prevalent throughout the comment section speaks volumes.
As for your followers being a "pathetic bunch of losers," well, of course they are! Look who they're following: a dried-up, decrepit, geriatric, whiny, destitute, self-loathing Jewish pornographer. What else do you expect from a crowd that hangs on the scrotum of a senior citizen who has one foot in a homeless shelter and the other foot in a grave?
Great post though.
Viva La Revolución!
--Gramsci Was Right!
Einstein, this week Duane-Reade is having a sale on Depends, 2 for the price of 1. Please let your home attendant know of this wonderful bargain for you.
Al,
The last ten posts were in general solid gold. Yes, there were some off-topics and junk thrown in but what else is new? There were many high quality comments as well.
Fact, Fiction or Fantasy - I would say the above statement is a fact.
I have also read all your posts and comments (with the exception of ones that you deleted) and I think you must be working full time again because you are missing something. I also have read the majority of your SCREW library and your former publication is hardly appreciated by you in your post (with the possible exception of a few stories and some pix - good stuff). I mean, there were many uses.
I have some ideas on how Al can reinvent himself and make his millions and hypersex back. I will return shortly with another comment. In the meantime do any other individuals have ideas, new years resolutions or comments that you feel will empower our relationship with Al or provide just a shot in the arm for Al?
I re-read the comments going back several months and I still think Al is incorrect as the first comment reflects.
Everyone else - any thoughts? Please let me know what you think and what are your thoughts on this rather strange post? And, I like Al's writing in this post. Al has not lost it.
Al, What did you do to celebrate Valentines? Why not post some sexy past pictures of you and your hot stuff? Why not? I love your pictures. No one else can do it like you and that's the TRUTH!
Any other comments? Will you accept this post from Al?
Al, you just told us that this blog is keeping you alive. That's true too. Isn't it? And, your following will never get better by being told their bad. Agree?
Mystery
Al, what's you're favorite hot dog stand in NYC? I like Gray's Papaya on 37th and 8th ave. I am a mindles dumbell. Thank you
Al, while you're at it, where in Queens do you find the best slice of pizza?
"You are like kindergarten children trying to understand Einstein."
ga ga goo goo
Of course I'm a loser.
If I was a winner I would be reading Hugh Hefner's blog.
Just thought I would drop in and see what the "other half" reads.
Hef said something witty and insightful in his latest blog, he said...wait a minute your all a bunch of losers that wouldn't understand anything hef says, so forget it.
Readers,
I'm curious - What would you like Al Goldstein to do with his life at this point in time and what's in it for you?
Mystery
At least your readers have money, a life and pussy to eat. Young or old, alpha men never need to buy love. Only losers pay to play. Look at Hugh Hefner. Why is he still a legend and you're a bum?
All you do is rant and rave about the past and how father time has passed you by. How you used to have it all and now blame others for your downfall. Why should anyone take you seriously, Alvin?
Let's face it, your life has been over since the end of Screw. For G-d's sake, stop the bitterness. Check into a rest home, go to bed and take your meds. This blog is not good for your ego. Oy vey!
"At least your readers have money, a life and pussy to eat. Young or old, alpha men never need to buy love. Only losers pay to play. Look at Hugh Hefner. Why is he still a legend and you're a bum?
All you do is rant and rave about the past and how father time has passed you by. How you used to have it all and now blame others for your downfall. Why should anyone take you seriously, Alvin?
Let's face it, your life has been over since the end of Screw. For G-d's sake, stop the bitterness. Check into a rest home, go to bed and take your meds. This blog is not good for your ego. Oy vey!"
Well said.
So Al, how's it going with Jordan? Does he still hates you?
I suspect that your blog might attract a more articulate and perceptive readership if you devoted yourself to reminiscing about New York City's in its heyday. I miss the good old days when most New Yorkers spoke with either a Brooklyn accent, Bronx accent or even a Queens accent. I miss the days when one could visit Queens for the sake of buying a kosher chocolate marble chesecake, real prune-filled hamentaschen, smoked carp and pistachio-flavored halvah. Queens used to be dotted with kosher bakeries and Italian bakeries. And, I miss visiting all of those mom & pop video stores that offered an adult section. One of the benefits of reading SCREW every week was that I was able to learn about the latest adult videos.
In the event that neither yourself nor your readers are interested in nostalgia you can always talk about the low quality of the adult DVDs that are offered for sale on Ebay. Ebay seems to attract sleazy purveyors of unwatchable amateur porn DVDs and some of those sellers indulge in bait-and-switch tactics. I recently purchased a DVD that was supposed to feature sex scenes involving voluptuous latina babes. The DVD not only didn't feature any of those babes, but that it was filled with a lot of footage of latino guys who were gleefully cornholing each other,as well.
Al,
It's very clear that you want higher quality comments. Why not respond and leave more comments of your own? Be a part of your solution. No one can rescue you. That's your job to save your life and love...
It's clear that it's very unclear what your next move will be?
I wonder...
M
Al,
You think there are idiots here?
Go live in the Castro district of San Francisco for a week and this place will seem like the Cal Tech physics department.
Mitch Haase
hey al,
i have iq of 50 so dont tak to me abut enstein!
What do you think about that Leon Trotsky guy? He's really really important!
I'd like to see Al smearing himself with Trotsky's feces.
Very nice Al, but couldn't you have picked a better photo of youself flashing dollar bills? Look at the underarm stains on your shirt for christ sakes!!! Besides I thing it's poetic justice for you all those years ago flashing $4.25 because that is probably all you have left today. Keep the great blogs coming Al!
Louis G.
He who wants respect, gives respect. You want us to respect then gives the fucking respect we deserve!
P. S. Trotsky sucks but SUPER important!
It would be great if all of those contributors to this blog would send emails to Blue Underground Video in order to encourage its owner to release more MIDNIGHT BLUE DVDs. I miss watching MIDNIGHT BLUE on cable TV and I even miss reading SCREW magazine,too!
hey al, you cocksucking homo,
maybe no one discusses your posts because they are all whiny, jewy, annoying rants about self-pity and past glory.
it would be a hell of a lot more interesting if you would get your fat ass up, dust yourself off, do something with your life and share it with us. even if it's nothing more than observations of NYC and porno reviews.
if screw was filled with the drivel you write on this blog, it would have gone nowhere. you have become what you hate--a fat jewish woman who makes everyone and eveything around her miserable.
Al,
You said
my “readers” were jerking off in stairwells
If that's something you miss, come to San Fran and hang out on my stoop for a day.
Mitch Haase
"it would be a hell of a lot more interesting if you would get your fat ass up, dust yourself off, do something with your life and share it with us. even if it's nothing more than observations of NYC and porno reviews."
Yeah al, why don't you do a restaurant review of Taco Bell's new Fiesta Platters? You can call it "Al Goldstein's Taco Bell Fiesta Platter Review"
It will be just like Midnight Blue , only in a blog format. And I know as a loser and an imbecile, it would be something I would understand.
Arriba!
let's have a contest. Let's figure out what the meaning is of the two pictures in Al's latest post.
1. In the first picture Al is giving us the finger. Obviously he is saying fuck you.
2. In the second picture he is holding what appears to be $4.25.
Combine the two pictures together I think Al is saying, "Fuck You readers, I'm only writing this blog because I'm getting paid and you people aren't worth it."
anybody else want to try to guess?
Al, answer this question for me: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Ever since you lost your money, your property, your company and your women, the readers of this blog are the only thing you've got to make you slightly significant. Without us you're nothing more than an old fart. The people you are bashing are the people you depend on. We are the life support machines of your severely bruised and deflated ego.
Since I've already touched upon your sexual conquests, let me tell you something you should already know by now: having paid for sex 7000 times (presuming you really got laid this much and this figure is not a grotesque exaggeration on your part) is nothing to be proud of. Yes Al, the vast majority of them were prostitutes. Even the ones which you didn't explicitly pay, as they were only fucking you for the money you had, not the for the person you were.
Most of your posts are just a baby step away from being suicide notes, but who can be blamed for your misery other than yourself? Your current situation is nothing but the result of your past's misguided decisions.
Don't even begin blaming your ex-wives. Even if all of the four (Marry Philips is not included as you say she was too good for you) you curse are really the walking turds you allege them be, you're still to blame for what they've done to you, as you're the one who decided to marry them. No gun was aimed to your head in those four times you said "I do". Christine (Al's fifth wife to anyone who's memory needs a little refreshening) was obviously your biggest mistake. Did you really believe a woman 40 years younger than you was doing it for anything other than your money?
It's quite clear you lost in the game of life, and there are two ways for you to continue: either by whining (as you're doing now) or by accepting defeat with grace and trying to make the most out of the few years you still have. Albert Ellis would have recommended that. You could have benefited much had you listened to not only to what he had to say about sex, but also to his words on rational thinking.
I real writer would have subject and predicate agreement. For example, "blogs...was not met" would be replaced with "...were not met"
"let's have a contest. Let's figure out what the meaning is of the two pictures in Al's latest post."
I think the two pictures are Al's way of saying, "Fuck you! Thanks to you losers, now I don't even have enough money to buy a can of antiperspirant."
al, you're talking like this is a new development. you've been hanging out with morons your whole life. whores, addicts, pimps...what are they? brain surgeons?
you hang out with idiots and insult them. what a life. at least you were able to make money off them for a while.
Waaa! No one wants to comment on me complaining about my life so now I'm going to complain about no one wanting to comment about me complaining about my life! Waaaaa!
My entire existence consists of complaining, just like an old Jewish Yenta. Waaaaaaaa!
Al,
I just read "My entire existence consists of complaining" by your hand.
That statement is not true. Many of your YouTube videos are in fact positive. Same with your book and related media.
With sound mind and plenty of time on your side - it is possible to make a career change that compliments you at this point.
Al, your entire life is not complete yet so why not count your blessings. I think you have more power and options than you think. Why not ask us or friends like Booble Bob?
What's holding you back at this point of your life? I know it's not your readers...and you that too.
M
Al,
I meant to say at the end that your readers are not holding you back...and you know that too.
Thanks for letting us know that your reading the comment section of your Blog.
M
I am going to kill myself at midnight tonight. Fuck you all.
More cries for attention.
Al,
Instead of killing yourself why don't you kill off your comments section? Ask Booble to disable your comments section or do it yourself, it's very easy to do. If people want to reply to your latest comments they can email you. It's hard for people to be obnoxious assholes when you have there email address. Just a thought.
Well, if Al is going away I proclaim this blog as my own!
Denny Crane! Just arrived on scene. How's everybody doing?
Al, the Republican Party in Queens is desperately in need of candidates for office. Forget about the Presidency. Run for City Council on the GOP ticket.. I'd volunteer. Redeem yourself.
Al, if you haven't taken your life yet, I've got this advice for you:
Try Paxil. My grandmother (who's quite senile by now) started taking it after showing some signs of nervousness and she's feeling much better now.
Hey Al. Whatcha doin?
Al,
I'm more concerned about you killing time. The late Dr. Albert Ellis once stated that wasting time is the worst thing an individual can do.
Recently, in your blog post, you stated that you were proud that you had Bipolar Disorder and other medical issues that needed treatment. Please don't upset yourself so much and think about what you can do instead of what you can't.
I maintain that you still have many lives to live and a lot to look forward to.
Sleep tight...
M
To the anonymous person who wants the comments cut off:
Email ids are one thing (they can be faked - id theft) but Al also has access to all the IP/ISP addresses so cutting off the comments makes no sense whatsoever.
Al loves the comments and has deleted them when appropriate.
If it isn't broke then why fix it? Please read this entire Blog (start with day one)including comments before asking about the impossible and send a thank you to Booble Bob for hiring and hosting AL.
M
Al, your ego is responsible for your past fame and fortune and your ego prevents you from reclaiming it. You belong on a burlesque stage in Sin City, not blogging online for insults.
Save your Penn welfare allowance and pay a porno slut to eat her pussy. Then report to us here. Or since you've come full circle as a pervert loser, critique the last of NYC's jerkoff porno theaters.
Make an adventure out of this blog and not just a forum for self pity and insults. Be the Dickenian porno Jew that you are and report raunch from the lowlife trenches. In your 8th decade you're still a survivor. Of porn and yourself.
Al,
We all have bad days and hard times. The future is unknown and uncertain for all of us. I say write up a new plan and give it a shot. Why not give yourself a new chance and lease on life? Experiment with redesigning your life. It's never too late.
It may help as you start a new life that satisfies you and no matter what the challenge - you can always say "so what if" and face the fear (or roadblock) and do whatever you want to do anyway.
Perhaps it's time for a new and improved Al Goldstein which means you would most likely be a very happy soul. Action can still be your middle name. No one ever said drop the fun - just don't drop dead by your own hand. I think that was a veiled threat anyway (by you) - but still...how depressing that would be is the understatement of the century. Please stay in your CBT talk therapy.
It will be the saddest day in the world when you leave us which I hope is many years away. Make the best life you can create before it's too late. Nobody can hide forever and nothing is forever - and that applies for everyone.
Please start today...The name of a recent book titled "Change or Die" has inspired me to re-look at my life and I hope you consider changing for the better. I have and I did. Al, you deserve nothing less and so much more.
M
You are rotting in hell Al.
"You are rotting in hell Al."
Al's just making cold threats. I'm sure the next post in this blog will not an obituary message from booble.
Al, it's too bad that your former pal Larry Flynt hasn't posted any messages on your blog. The free publicity which SCREW gave to HUSTLER during its first few years of publication in the mid 1970s obviously boosted its chances of succeeding in an increasingly crowded marketplace. Larry Flynt, by comparison, apparently hasn't reciprocated by returning that favor in any meaningful way.
Larry Flynt owns and operates a vast media empire and his wealth obviously allows him to fend off threats from all kinds of crazed zealots and political whores. However, I'm surprised that he is unable to release the uncut versions of the VCA titles that his company owns? Is Larry Flynt afraid of being incarcerated in an Alabama jail for selling the uncut version of THE OPENING OF MISTY BEETHOVEN, RAW TALENT, SMOKER and MATINEE IDOL? Russ Hampshire, VCA's former owner, was forced to edit various scenes from many of the titles in his company's library. His actions was the consequence of having to spend jail time in a southern prison and having to pay a massive fine to a bunch of inbred types. However, I don't think that Russ Hampshire wasn't the powerful media personality that Larry Flynt is, and I suspect that the media might be more sympathetic to Larry Flynt who seems to prefer skewering the Republicans over the Democrats.
Al, I wish you could use your blog as a soapbox for getting your former buddy to release the original editions of those old VCA titles.
"Al, it's too bad that your former pal Larry Flynt hasn't posted any messages on your blog. The free publicity which SCREW gave to HUSTLER during its first few years of publication in the mid 1970s obviously boosted its chances of succeeding in an increasingly crowded marketplace. Larry Flynt, by comparison, apparently hasn't reciprocated by returning that favor in any meaningful way."
I'm sure there's a good reason why Larry Flynt doesn't do jack to help Al. Do you think that it's just a coincidence that all of Goldstein's five ex-wives (including the one Al describes as a saint), his son Jordan, and who knows how many others have left him? Al is the one responsible for his misfortune, simple as that.
There seems to be a contingient of people who are quick to criticize and condemn Al Goldstein's alleged personality flaws. However, I wish there were as many people who are willing to praise the now-defunct SCREW magazine and Al Goldstein's legendary MIDNIGHT BLUE cable TV show. A former accounting professor at Pace University once admitted to me that he was a MIDNIGHT BLUE devotee. He told me this statement a few years after that school fired him due to declining student enrollment during the early 1990s. "Al Goldstein was right!" according to him by describing Pace as a "dump".Al Goldstein used to deride that place in the pages of SCREW since the early 1970s.
Al, do you have any photos of when you were a pre-pubescent that you could share with the readers? Photos of your Bar Mitzvah? Birthday parties with your little friends? Grammar school group shots? et cetera.
Al,
If you like changes then this is your year. If you don't like change then this year will change you.
Get ready and prepare for the year of your life. Let's call it the year of your true nature and coming of age. I think your overdue for some good news to brag about.
M
leon trotsky, that was the funniest comment i've seen in a long time.
Dad,
I have gone queer and you are invited to my gay wedding.
Jordan
So who's the other groom (or wife, whatever you wanna call it)? Is there any chance Mitch Haase is the one who's about to become Al Goldstein's son-in-law?
Al and Readers,
Look at the bad people you were surrounded by - you were wrapped up in shit with them.
Readers who want Al to eat shit - just read his Blog post about licking and rimming his girlfriends which we all do. Al has already done what you want him to do now. True.
Readers want Al to fuck himself! He already has - he let low quality comments through the door and got fucked by those who don't care about him.
Make a difference. Make love and think of Al - he inspired a better love life for everyone and he deserves your thanks forever and that's a lot longer than your shit will ever last.
M
"Make love and think of Al"
At the same time? Wouldn't that cause some kind of a permanent sexual dysfunction? I mean, there's a good reason why Al's fourth wife turned into a lesbo!
"Make love and think of Al"
that's what i do when i'm trying to hold back my orgasm. i think of monkey butts, colostomy bags and al.
works every time and my partners are amazed at my stamina.
After reading all these comments no wonder Al wishes he had Alzheimer's, I would wish for Alzheimer's too.
Yeah, if my life were as crappy as Al life are, and people would always remind me that, I would want Alzheimer too.
"Yeah, if my life were as crappy as Al life are, and people would always remind me that, I would want Alzheimer too."
Fuck Alzheimer's give me a lobotomy!
quick!
Well, there still hasn't been any sign of life or death from Al since he made that suicide threat. I don't know what kind of funeral he had in mind for himself, but just in case he goes for cremation, I thought I should remind you all of a groovy song from the late sixties:
I am the god of hell f ire and I bring you:
Fire, I'll take you to burn.
Fire, I'll take you to learn.
I'll see you burn!
You fought hard and you saved and learned,
but all of it's going to burn.
And your mind, your tiny mind,
you know you've really been so blind.
Now 's your time burn your mind.
You're falling far too far behind.
Oh no, oh no, oh no, you gonna burn!
Fire, to destroy all you've done.
Fire, to end all you've become.
I'll feel you burn!
You've been living like a little girl,
in the middle of your little world.
And your mind, your tiny mind,
you know you've really been so blind.
Now 's your time burn your mind,
you're falling far too far behind
You've been living like a little girl
ain't that the truth.
Al,
I think some of the comments featured above include all or nothing thinking so don't take anything too personally.
Hope to see you shortly and please include more pix and your current status as well. Thanks.
M
Hope to see you shortly and please include more pix and your current status as well
You mean dead or alive?
Just adding another comment to raise the count. Come on people, let's make it to 100!
Al, I'm coming into NYC in May/June to see Jordana's new baby which will be arriving in April. I will take you for lunch; you're a cheap date now that you only eat pablum. love, Moose from Screw
were almost there...
two more comments...
one more comment to the...
holy shit we done made it and then some!
72!
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