A Bevy of Bush

In our desperate need to awaken our libido and our imaginations we have to be selective in the locations where we spend our time. I love looking at women in their flip flops, painted toe nails and short skirts. The women of today all have huge tits the size of water balloons and tight foreheads thanks to Botox. I always preferred Los Angeles and Florida because it was always warm and the women are sexually provocative. New York City, where there is inclement weather, causes women to cover their most exciting parts six months out of every year.

As I approach age 72, the easiest place for me to get pussy is the senior citizens center. The problem is that the women are older than me, have less teeth and the thought of going down on a clit older than Cleopatra makes me want to regurgitate.

My favorite island of bimbos and bush is Union Square. There I not only see pussy I want to devour, but I can also buy organic food that I can eat without the nasty aftertaste. The women on the subway are bare and sweaty and I know they will taste like the trout from the Fulton Fish Market. During my heyday as publisher of Screw, I would munch on three to four women a day. In the last few years in the face of poverty and diabetes, the closest I came to that euphoria was opening a can of Chicken of the Sea. So for now, just looking will have to do.