Testosterone 101
Women are the great white sharks of the world. They are toothsome man-eaters who want to devour our flesh like a fat person at Krispy Kreme. Sharks, anacondas and crocodiles are the apex predators of nature. They are looking for their next meal and surely never think about flossing, going to their local dentist or wondering about the herbal influx that is entering their digestive tracts.
What makes these sharks so hungry are the natural laws of nature and the availability of decaying and decadent flesh that awaits consumption. But like Austin Powers we have the oil that lubricates this aggressiveness. In the movie they refer to it as “Mojo” but in the world of science it is called testosterone and we have more of it than women. It is high octane and full of the fire of masculinity. The eau de l’homme, the source of mighty man’s river.
The female hormone is called estrogen. It is the testosterone that makes the male shark so aggressive. But I think we are becoming a more feminine society, which makes things even easier for woman. A more feminine male is an easier target and more likely victim. This is just something to chew on for you pencil-necked Internet geeks trying to find date. Testosterone breeds success and success breeds testosterone. Testosterone teaches us to dominate, kill and be male and is the reason why men are the warriors and women are the nurses. So men, use your God-given testosterone to throw your computer out the fucking window, go outside and meet some real women.
posted by Al Goldstein @ 6:10 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Al,
It is yet once again my extreme pleasure to leave the first comment on your blog post.
I am not a homosexual.
Mitch Haase
P.S. Eddie Van Halen smokes the "skin flute."
Testosterone, while macho, is a cave man hormone. And it can be very dangerous in the system of an unscrupulous man who will do almost anything to get ahead or get laid.
Of the fairer sex, those who use their looks as weapons or credit cards can be labeled sharks. But then they can themselves become seals that male predators feed upon. Case in point: Howard K. Stern and the late Anna Nicole.
The moral of the story is that a sane male will use his mojo to get off, curb primitive tendencies and start families. But the evil among us use it to cause destruction in the world due to a cynicism jungle mentality where true happiness is impossible among our humanity ant farm's worker bee locusts.
In the end, we all die. So all the ego, vanity, and BS in between is of little consequence. Someday when the sun burns out, every accomplishment in the history of humankind will be rendered gaseous cosmic dust. In fact, it's already happening with so-called Global Warming. Oil and gas are not the only cause.
All that matters is LOVE. The rest is an illusion created by lonely lost souls who chose to replace what they can't have with dog eat dog fame, fortune or ill will. The wisdom of selfless humility is lost on us when we are young and cocky. Only when we are forced to confront our own mortality do we see forests for trees. We believe in our own lies when we are new to the world. We only expose them when our time on earth runs out. Rare is he who sees the light when his own is not dim.
Yep, I agree mostly here. It really comes down to eat or be eaten. I never wanted to believe it, but it's true. We are lone wolves...mommy isn't here to protect us anymore....we need to fight for what we want, or learn how to get it without getting destroyed in the process. No matter what our effete society tries to shove down our throats...continue to devour red meat and pursue your manly passions!!
PS you can get dates and fuck around with women on the internet....but you have to know what your doing...or you will get crushed....just like with anything else.
You know all this talk about testosterone reminds me to ask you, who do you think will leave Wrestlemania 23 shaved bald, Mr McMahon or Donald Trump? Please weigh in.
I am a radical feminist, and I do NOT want a testosterone-laden, Y-chomosome retard attacking me. Still, I would not mind having my hooch pounded.......
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