In the Mood for Dud
I love women and best of all I love beautiful women. I have ogled at the feminine charms of the delicate thin-ankled women in Thailand, the tall lithe feminine pulchritude of the denizens of Holland, the starlets of LA and the classy snatch on Madison Avenue. But my newest discovery, the flesh at Union Square in New York City, tops ‘em all. Perfectly proportioned pussy is like the thousands of wilderbeasts on the plains of Africa and like the lurking crocodiles in the nearby waters – I want to gobble them up. I want to bite their boobs and do a crocodile death roll as I rip their flesh off and hungrily swallow it.
Then comes the realization that it’s all meaningless.
There is so much pussy that I have become desensitized. Like sand on the beach and freshly baked donuts lining the walls of Krispy Kreme exhibiting their sugary delights looking at pussy has become shockingly commonplace. Whatever I capture will be quickly forgotten as the same shit I had 20 years ago. Why is that? In this galaxy of nearly perfect pussy there is nothing that special. The hard nipples, the long legs, the blonde trusses, the full lips all blend into routine.
There is nothing special I am left with. The memories and sexual experiences are not unique but like the waters of Niagara Falls. I who in my prime had sex with two to four women a day am bored with pussy. My hedonism and even my sperm are bored. My cum dribbles out not even with the uniqueness of being square it’s just that I have dropped a load.
And so at the age of 70 I am looking for something far more significant than the latest piece of ass. After five marriages and so many fast-food sexual encounters I now want intimacy and connection in a partner.
posted by Al Goldstein @ 6:26 PM
19 comments
19 Comments:
what's remarkable about intimacy and connection is how quickly they themselves can turn into boredom and annoyance. given the choice i'll take the two to four women a day.
p.s. i love this blog.
This is great blog entry. It has the ring of universal truth.
No amount of sex will take the place of love.
However, if you can't get love, take the sex, becuase it is so much better than almost everything else.
You need to learn tp love and accept your self first... then you can have a successful realtionship
Al, why don't you go to India, become an ascetic and fast! THEN your life would have meaning....no?
Whis is this post titled "In the Mood for Dud"? What does that mean? Al, are you calling yourself a "dud"?
Good luck finding true intimacy in this materialistic society.
I'm not saying it's impossible. It's just really damned hard.
Dr. I.M. Kookie says : Mr. Goldstein , I would like to suggest that you make nice to lovable Jewish girl and my all-time fave, Gloria Leonard, and make her wife number six. Then ,when she dumps you for being a broken down putz, I will marry her! Sound selfish of me, you bet!! Where does she rank in your list of 7,000 boinked?
al, please give us a detailed list of all the women you boinked.Rank them 1 thru 7,0000.
Al: You only banged 7,000 ladies, you really are a limp-dick. Signed, Wilt Chamberlain and John Holmes,at least you still have time to catch-up ! Dr. I.M. Kookie
Dear Phil,
You are a man of genius and insight. Even the best prepared foods start to smell rancid and relationships and human contact are no different. And the stink is that of a hyperactive skunk.
Yours,
Al
Dear Universal Truth,
My audience with people such as yourself are smarter than I am. It was a pleasure to read your comments and to realize that in a world of simpletons, we tower over them.
Al
Dear Love Yourself,
I hate myself and I hate the people who walk in my shadow. I have so much self loathing that before I masturbate I pummel my cock into a bloody mess because the thought of my male member in another human being is a vile thought indeed. Rodents and roadkill are worthy of my sexual advances, human beings are not.
Al
Dear India,
I am booking a flight on India airlines tomorrow but would like to know what kind of snacks they serve. I love the taste of Indian pussy since my last wife was Indian and I once licked mahatma ghadhi's ass. It tasted like curry.
Al
Dear Spud,
I am calling myself a dud and you a spud. In other words you have the mind of a baked potato. The only value in your future is if you become mcdonald's French fries. This spuds for you.
Al
Dear Zen,
Its more impossible than finding a friend who will not betray you. After five failed marriages I pray that one day I will find a woman who loves me more than she loves herself.
Al
Dear Kookie,
Gloria is one of the many women I did not appreciate or treat with the respect she deserved. I am filled with shame for not having appreciating her more. I feel the same way I feel about my second wife Mary. And lastly I deeply regret not having spent many more hours eating the delectable ass of linnea. I have made so many mistakes with so little time that I am filled with an inner rage for the opportunites I squandered. I wish I had a second act to my life and I think I would do better.
Al
Dear Ranked,
I will start and stop with linnea quiqley, the scream queen. Her body tasted better than a lobster roll at Nathans. she sucked my cock so successfully that when I am dead and about to be buried I am sure she could bring me off one more time. I wish I had more money to give her so she would come back in my life.
Al
Dear Kookie,
When I next fuck you in the ass and tear your hemmoroids into the fragments of an exploding meteor you will bless the fact that I have a limp dick. The bonus for you is that my cum tasted like an orange Julius and they both contain vitamin c.
Al
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