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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

CUNNILINGUS - PART II

When I grew up in Brooklyn in the fifties, I was upset when I read in a book called IDEAL MARRIAGE, that oral sex was occasionally permitted, but only as a preliminary. To me it was the whole pie, the total, the beginning, the middle and the end.

the cunning linguist

It wasn't until I read SEX WITHOUT GUILT by Albert Ellis that I began to perceive that, as I had passed through my adolescence, I had been stuffed full of moralistic, propagandist preachings of uptight sexologists. Thus Albert Ellis, set me free and with an assist from Henry Miller, I was able to let my pubic garden grow.

Sex was always discussed openly in my family and my parents never laid down taboos in this area. I was a virgin until I was sixteen; then my mother and father felt that I should have my first sexual experience, and they called upon my swinging uncle in NYC to initiate me.

My uncle found a willing accomplice in his girlfriend, and I still remember going up to their apartment ten o' clock at night and being passionately welcomed between her thighs. The lights were out so I never saw her, but I never forgot her words; "Anything you want to do is fine." And that was my first introduction to cunnilingus.

cock fiendEven my sex fantasies are very oral. But they also are about women who, if they are not dominant, are at least in the ascendant position and are thrusting forth their own wanton and animalistic needs. Fucking is animalistic, and its rampant passion is what I want when I engage in making love to another person. One of my most frequent sex dreams is that of a long legged thin woman sitting on my head and, as I perform cunnilingus she fucks my tongue with the horny precision of a marching band at halftime on the day of the Superbowl.

She's looking down at me, saliva moistening her lips; her nose is flaring as she goes up and down building to her climax. I feel so magnificent because I am giving her this wonderful feeling and sharing it with her. Although I am really nothing more than a tongue and a sexual object, for that period of time I am submerged, immersed in space and I feel fulfilled and I peace with myself.

5 Comments:

At 12:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

al... and seemingly half of your readers... i thought you would enjoy this one:

The Rude Pundit
Proudly lowering the level of political discourse

2/16/2006
Blowing Dick:
Dick Cheney loves to have his balls cupped while he's getting a blow-job. He likes it when the kneeling fellater holds the testicles that are a heartbeat away from the Oval Office chair, perhaps bobbling them like qigong balls, perhaps giving a teasin' squeezin' to Dick Cheney's scrotum. Brit Hume is a cocksucker of great renown around D.C. Indeed, he is perhaps a more skilled chowder eater than even Sean Hannity for Hume gives the act the veneer of being something more significant than just another back alley hummer. Whenever male members of the Bush administration need to get their rocks off in a way that doesn't make 'em look all gay and shit, they can count on Fox "News" anchor Brit Hume to bob that knob better than anyone else. Hume receives regular face fuckings from the grateful dicks of Donald Rumsfeld, John McCain, and, much to Hume's chagrin, Ken Mehlman. (Chris Wallace is noted for his cunnilingus skills. And no one gives better falafel than Bill O'Reilly.)

Yesterday, Hume was masterful at playing Cheney's skin flute, blowing that bad boy like James Galway dueling the Devil, such beautiful mouth music. Cheney, under mucho pressure from Karl Rove (which means, you know, razor blades and kitchen torches), was forced to appear some fuckin' place to answer questions about his blasting birdshot into the body of his buddy. That meant it was time for Hume to break out the Burt's Bees lip balm and stretch his mouth out, work that gag reflex down, break out the kneepads, and await the Vice President's arrival.

And what a magnificent mouth punking occurred in the mighty Fox "News" studios. Cheney leaned back on his cum-stained chair and whipped his pants python out, told a smiling, voracious-looking Hume, "Make me look human," and the blowing commenced. Harry Whittington's "doing very well today," Cheney groaned; "the image of him falling is something I'll never be able to get out of my mind," Cheney moaned. You can pretty much pinpoint a couple of moments during the interview: when Cheney said, in regards to the delay in informing the press about the shooting, "I thought that was the right call...I still do," right there is when Brit Hume inserted his vaselined finger into the Vice President's anus and fondled his prostate. When Cheney said of Whittington, "He's been fantastic. He's a gentleman in every respect. He oftentimes expressed more concern about me than about himself," that's pretty much where Cheney blew his load into Hume's mouth.

Of course, it's always an awkward moment or two at the end, with Hume using his tongue to clean Cheney's cock off, asking, "[Y]ou said this was one of the worst days of your life. How so?" And then, the blow job done, it was time for small talk about insignificant shit until it was time for someone to leave. Hume asked Cheney about the release of classified material. Cheney responded, "There is an executive order that specifies who has classification authority, and obviously focuses first and foremost on the President, but also includes the Vice President," but also, "I don't want to get into that." In essence, Cheney was saying to Hume, "Man, you just gave me a blow job. I think we're done here."

Cheney left the studio, inflamed balls now a great deal calmer. Hume, of course, flossed, adding the stray, stuck pubic hairs to the collection he keeps in a cigar box in his office so he can open it and look at each labeled baggie and dream dreams that only a Fox "News" anchor can dream, of capitulation, of devotion, of purity of cause, of the next delicious fellatio session on, say, Sunday

 
At 9:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al, is it in your plans to write about your spiral downfall into the abyss? I'm sure many readers would buy that book. You seem to have had a very interesting life, met interesting people, been interesting places... I think it would sell very well... anyway.. food for thought

 
At 1:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

al, are you hoping some chick's gonna read about your love of eating pussy and give you a call? have you ever been grossed out by a pussy? a sweaty, roast-beef looking pussy that smells like shit?

 
At 3:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it weren't for Fox News, everyone in this adminstration woud be in jail.

Their crackdown on internet porn is the most hilarious. As if arresting pornographers in this country will do anything but drive them, and jobs, and taxes, overseas.

The most scary part is that Fox news is not alone. The "fourth estate", our vaunted media, is missing in action entirely. The only real news to be found is on comedy central.

Kinda makes Al's memoir, however sweet in its own weird way, kinda insignificant, don't it?!

 
At 11:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY!
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