Save Al Goldstein
I beseech you in honor of my exciting sensation filled life that only exists because of your kind generosity towards me…Please, Please have mercy on me!! The people at Booble are holding me, Al Goldstein, an aging senior citizen, Korean War Veteran, who only wants the chance publish his raving on web and get paid for it.
The only way I can continue if is you post your support on my blog (and maybe buy some porn from the links on the Booble site). That’s right, crusaders of pornography, if you post your comments about how great I am below, then the lords of Booble will let me continue to ply my delightfully nasty trade.
I am being held captive with nothing in my cel but an internet connection and this computer. I have to look at porn all day long and write about it, and that is hard. Fortunately, it gets me hard so I like to do it.
Please tell my captives how you want more of me. Let them know that their small stipend that they give me should be increased fourth fold. Let them know that I need more money to feed my emaciated flesh.
Only your praise of the Almighty Goldstein can redeem these precious lives!
19 Comments:
At least you have a job, working for a pair of boobies as well.
Say what you will about Booble, but just don't be lame like this unnamed dufus sex blog webmaster:
This blogger initially criticized us for being a commericial blog:
Unfortunately, I'm not in a position to offer you a free link trade with http://blog.booble.com . There's such a huge new crop of "porn blogs" exploding out there that I've been forced (by space considerations and to keep my blogroll quality up) to limit free link exchanges to mostly non-commercial sites -- meaning sites that aren't promotionally linked to a single product, and sites where affiliate links in posts are at most an occasional, rather than a regular feature. Your blog, while attractive, is clearly a commercial porn blog with both a promotional bent and heavy affiliate advertising in the posts.
Fair enough. I replied with this email:
I understand your policy about commercial blogs. It seems like PR people are trying to exploit them for all they are worth. Booble is trying to make our blog sort of like a newsletter, We tried an adult email list, but the spam filters are pretty strict and our users were not getting the newsletter. Yes, we do have some ads:), but what's a player gonna do? Thanks for your info about text link ads. We will keep that in mind.
This blogger, who I should call John Kerry the Flip Flopper, then completely changes his story:
The trouble with linking to Booble (which I would normally do in appreciation for the return traffic) is that the Booble business model strikes me as fundamentally deceptive. You call Booble a search engine, but every search I've tried returns a mix of reviewed pay sites and sites that link to you. That makes Booble a hybrid between a paysite review site and a link directory. And the "search" results seem very hand-crafted; there's no way that a site like barelylegal.com would be returned as the number one result for "sex blog" in any real search algorithm. Nor, for that matter, does "Sir Rodney's Porn Review Blog" appear at #4 in any actual search engine for the "blog" query --- or even in the top 400. It's simply too new and too unlinked.
Please understand that I'm not trying to criticize your business model or methods -- I *would* be quite the asshole if I did that. But ------ has had a policy from day one of trying to avoid all the dishonest crud that characterizes the porn industry. Editorial content (including free links) on ------ simply must be as honest as I can make them. And that policy precludes me from giving a free link to a site that says it's a search engine, but isn't... this strikes me as a fundamentally dishonest enterprise, and so it's not easy for me to see a way past that.
"Not trying to criticize our business model"? Then called us "fundamentally dishonest"? WTF? Ok, dude, go ahead and sign up for any fradulent spy-ware rip off that Google indexes. In fact, I don't want your bloggy ass use Booble because I'd rather see someone who is so stingy get ripped off. If he really believed in "trying to avoid all the dishonest crud that characterizes the porn industry" then it would make sense to link to a directory of sites, many of which have been reviewed, that are not open to just anyone in the Ukraine that can scam credit cards. Not to mention the fact that someone who supposedly values honesty should be less of a flip-flopper. Maybe we should call Booble a "searchable database." But then we would get perhaps more database wonks than we get amateur Google-gogglers saying, well, Booble isn't really a databases because I use a different database that's publically traded, been around for 5 years longer and has some of the most sophisticated artifical intelligence on the planet. Check out what Yahoo looked like one year after launch at the Web Archive. The crawler had less than a million pages to traverse. Maybe one reason why the adult industry continues to be so obnxious and sometimes fraudulent is that, even when you try to help consumers, they don't appreciate it anyway. Long live Ayn Rand.
A few years ago, I was down at the corner liquor store near closing time, a dude walked in, took a look at a prostitute standing at the counter buying a pack of cigs, and said, "You fucking whore."
She paused, thought about it for a moment, then nodded, shrugged, and said, "Yeah."
Everyone prositutes themselves at one point or another. Prostitution isn't different from any other job and I suspect prostitutes have it better, they don't need to go through the rigors of 'mind fucks' that usual employees wade through (via bosses, managers etc). It's not like they'll have someone say to them, 'right you have to stay back and give me a blow job for no extra pay', like every other 'clean' white collar employee who obeys. What other choice do they have? In many cases the worker can't say 'screw you asshole!', a prostitute on the other hand gets paid for the 'time' factor.
If I had a credit card I'd go nuts with all the porn on the net (lol), why not?
In Australia, a person can only purchase decent porn (that's not edited to delete genitals) from Canberra, the 'federal' state. It's ironic, if anyone here wants a XXX DVD, they can't buy it anywhere else. They have to buy it at our own 'Capital Hill' and there's no way I'm going to travel two hours for that purpose. Sex shops here, that are legal, only sell 'R' rated porn.
i don't know wtf any of these posts have to do with showing al g, our fukin savior, literally, da love. but i am gut for a shout out to da ole bone: we luv you al! them booble boyos best keep you bloggin!
I often sit and wonder if you ever realized that "ROSIE" was your downfall. If it werent for her, and her skimming of advertising dollars, you would still be in business for yourself, have your mansion and your lifestyle. Your business didnt suffer becasue of the internet, it suffered becasue you spent more than you earned on stupid shit...THATS THE TRUTH
To anonymous, the above reply because it's an asinine reply.
The REASON why Playboy went 'online' is because magazines sales took a bit of a dive with the advent of the Internet, so they had to make a transfer. In Australia, Penthouse magazine's(just one example for your ignorant mind) - the print medium - has significantly decreased due to the myriad of pornography online because it's more convenient, because there is a wider selection of porn (for various lifestylers etc) and because the Internet, in one's home, eliminates the 'chore' of purchasing porn from a newsagency (here in Australia) and I'm sure it's like that for many other smaller cities in the world.
Give the now poor Al a pay hike! The only other people in the industry as entertaining as Al are Ron Jeremy and Al's almost wife, Gloria Leonard. Why not do something with them again Al, I don't care if you're all ready for the nursing home. Why not sell some old Midnight Blue interviews with the two of them if you have them ? You 3 are hilarious !
I've been enjoying your blog and have been linking you from my sites. Via Mark Kramer I've also written about you on my sites...
To l'etranger above:
I agree in part with what you are saying, but please take it from someone who knows first hand, how out of control Al's spending was, and how things were brought to his attention, that he could have done something about, but didn't. There were some loyal employees of his, (working for him for 25 years, working for 10 years for him) that tried to save his company for him and for themselves, but by that point, it was too far gone. It's actually quite sad, becasue the "real" Al Goldstein, is a really nice man with a good, generous heart. Its very sad what has happened to him, but he cant say he wasnt warned.
Well, the saying is what it is, ruthless people, the ones that usually don't give a shit, remain. That's not to say that ruthless people are more creative or anything else, they usually have other shit-kickers do all their work for them.
All praise the Almighty Goldstien
Defender of Porn
Crusher of the Gates of Decency
Spreader of The Legs
We bow our heads in naked awe
And pray for tits and traffic
Al Goldstein is a warrior in the classic sense. A man who has relentlessly championed the right of every man to use the words 'cunt' and 'cock', and a man who transformed his own natural urges into an empire that spans decades. He is a pivotal figure in the development of sexual expression since the late 1960's, and more importantly - his writings on pornography, prostitution, the internet, and the sexual revolution are insightful, honest, and unbelieveably funny.
When I read that Mr. Goldstein was having so many financial woes, I simply couldn't believe it. Al, you should be raking in the big bucks on the lecture circuit. I preordered my copy of the new 'Midnight Blue' DVD months ago, and I'm absolutely positive that you won't disappoint.
Someone give this man a high-profile gig - he has more to say of interest and relevance than 99% of the rest of the pussies in the media.
Do you have any links to free (porn or vigara) stuff?
Shalom,
--- Leland Milton Goldblatt, Ph.D. ®
Distinguished Professor
http://www.prof.faithweb.com
"Those who exchange liberty for security will soon find that they have
neither."
-- Benjamin Franklin
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mr. goldstein,
you are often the only smart person that i hear from for days at a time. these putzes should treat you like the father of their business.
dorks.
peter smith
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