In my last life (when i was a fat Jew living the high life), Le Cirque restaurant was one of my favorite troughs. For those of you stupid, ill-bred jerkoffs, Le Cirque was a 5 Star Michelin restaurant frequented by the likes of Henry Kissinger, Jackie Onassis, Gay Talese, and other notables.

The owner, Ciro Maccioni,(a really classy Italian with a big prick and a pallate for young pussy) welcomed me 2 times per week. Plastic surgeons and Wall Street lawyers with fat wallets would beg for a table... Cirio would usher me past the hordes of phony scumbags pretending to be important. The snarls would echo throughout the room. "Al Fucking Goldstein! That fat scumbag got a table before me!?" Yes, of course I did! I had the power of pussy . . I was the Prince of Free Love! I mattered more than some prick who made millions on Wall Street! Those assholes had a tie shackled to their necks! Cirio appreciated me because I did not have to pretend to be somebody!

I never paid at "le Cirque." never... Cirio ALWAYS picked up the tab! A gentleman!

One story in particular I will always fondly recall about Cirio. The night before i was sentenced in the Brooklyn fiasco (the one in which I told my cunt secretary I was going to "..take her down" ) Cirio invited me and my lawyer, Charles DeStefano, to Le Cirque.

We were sat in a round booth (usually reserved for the Prince of Wales). I wore my snake skin vest, Cazal frame glasses, and flip flops. Walter Cronkite (seated to my left) scowled as I paraded into this elegant, opulent dining room. Charles (as usual dressed in a designer Italian suit and $500 tie) could not believe the fuss . . He whispered to me, "Al, you REALLY ARE a fucking prince!"

Cirio personally greeted us and hugged me. He really loved me - probably because I was a cunt magnet and he was an Italian with a big dick. "Al, I am a very worried abouta you. . .are you a really gonna go to the jail?!" Yes, I replied, but I had been arrested 27 times and beat every fucking case. And my lawyer here, Charles, is a fucking jurisprudential scholar and master in the courtroom.

He then turned to Charles (one suave dego to another) and said, "I wanta to give a you some a food to take to Al to a Rikers Island... Can a you bringa food in the jail?" Charles said that he would look into it (and later confessed that me might have to smuggle the meatballs up his ass!

I was probably the only prisoner in the history of the New York State Prison system that was eating "Le Cirque" take out. Not even Leon Helmsley's fucking dog could claim that!

Now I am eating green Nathan's franks that have rotted in my moldy refrigerator.

Al