Any old jew cunts out there?
I have eaten 7000 pussies in my lifetime. As publisher of SCREW, tahe availabiltiy of fresh (and rancid) pussy was like Chinese takeout. After a while, it all tastes the same.
With Linnea Quigley (see photos below) I gave up eating her pussy. I was bored with her labia, mons veneris, flappy lips, clitoris(es), wet gooey juicy pussy. I started eating her ssshole because it was new to me. Like a new flavor at Baskin Robbins. (I always need to compare my life to food - I am skinny on the outside, but on theinside I'm still a fat hungry Jew).
Her ass tasted like copper pennies. Don't knwo why, but it was a clean taste, a unique delicate taste.
Are there any old Jewish cunts out there who would like me to savor their ani (that's plural of "anus" for your fucking morons!) I heard that Brighton Beach is replete with available Russian Jews who love sex . . .It was the only thing that they could get for free and in the privacy of their homes during the Soviet days. If any of you cocksuckers hook me up with a hot Russian babe, I will blow you in Macy's window on a Tuesday afternoon.
Lastly, I am back on my feet and feeling much better now that I have been to the VA to see my shrink. He keeps me balanced with the right drugs and I feel better.
I am suing my fucking dentist who ripped me off and took thousands from me without providing me with the right teeth. He promised me the world and all I wound up with is a cheap set of choppers (straight out a gag shop . . the ones you wind up and they clack-clack- clack).
Until the next blog
FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK yOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
ps - My brilliant attorney, Charles, always fucking with me and playing jokes left this voice mail of me on my machine . . It is of me - he wanted me to hear how fucking insane I sound when I leave him messages!
ALAL%20GOLDSTEIN%2011.wav
106 Comments:
Al - I'm glad your back on your feet. I just wonder how long you will stay as you change quite often.
Please call your friends if you need help and don't wait for a rescue. Last time was a close call.
Will you still post the Linda Lovelace hardcore photo session that you did with her?
Thank God your ok...
Al,
When was this voice mail made? It sounds like 2004/2005. Radio Shack was mentioned in an interview you gave in 2005.
It sounds like your job search is over. Is this correct?
VA benefits
SSDI
Social Security
Booble income
Freelance writing for Adult magazines like Hustler, etc.
Unknown misc. jobs
Does that sum it up? Al, you have mentioned that your still trying to get a million dollars worth of watches back from your son - that's frustrating. Your last wife stole your paychecks and robbed you blind - that's sad.
Is there anything the readers can do to help you stay on your feet?
Al,
It's an honor to post a blog response before MITCH HAASE does, but that phone message was hilarious! Glad to hear you are doing well, and regarding the taste of Linnea Quigley's ass, my wife's ass sometimes has a tendency to taste like silver half-dollars so I know where you are coming from with that! I will ask any Russian Jews at my job to see if any Women are available for you. Keep the blogs coming!
Louis from the Bronx!
Mitch is a class act!
Al's mood is up and down more than my penis was at age 18.
Mr. Goldstein,, why limit yourself to Jewish pussy?
Al Goldstein is the poster child for manic deppressive taint flickers everywhere.
God bless your Mister G.
May your rigor mortis cock never limp.
Georgetheatheist can clean my toilet wearing my underwear and dancing to poker music if he likes. I read his profile...very funny. Meanwhile I'm looking for old Jewish Cunts to keep Al in food and keep him from starving to death. How about old black assholes that taste like chocolate pudding?
That message is NOTHING compared to the shit he used to leave on the Dictaphone machine int he office. Every morning, me and my assistant would sit there in disbelief at all the insane shit he would call and leave on that machine during the night. We got to feel bad for him.. He seemed so lonely to call so many times.. Mondays were a bitch..as you could imagine....ahhh good times
We all know Al is a 'very lonely' man; trying to fill his life/time with food. He's lonely because he doesn't like the one person he should LOVE, AND ENJOY BEING WITH--HIMSELF. So why would 5 wives love him or want to be with him? There is not enough Haggen Daz in the world to fill up the 'loneliness' in his life...it should have been dealt with years ago...If you can't 'love yourself', no one else ever will.
Hey Al,
I met you back around 1982 when you were in LA covering the John Holmes Trial (Laurel Canyon Murders) for Playboy. We had lunch at the Westwood Marquis and then "enjoyed" the trail. Sorry to hear that you've fell on hard times. (Pardon the pun.)
Thanks again for lunch!
You are right about the medications, Al. Once upon a time I was opposed to antidepressants. I saw them as horrible synthetic things which do nothing but slowly erase your personality over time, until you are Gary J. Bland, happy in your bland home with your bland wife and your bland nine to five job. I was wrong. They are the most wonderful things ever invented. On them, I am able to rise early in the morning and do strenuous exercise, then go to work, then go straight from work to the theatre, not coming home until 11.30PM, and then do the same thing all over again the next day. This kind of schedule would have been impossible to maintain before I went on this wonderful drug. And it is wonderful. The terrible gut squeezing anxiety that I used to suffer, which would overcome me before I embarked on even the most trivial of tasks, like choosing a brand of mayonnaise at the supermarket, is all but gone. I can look both friend and enemy in the eye and tell him what I truly think of him without fear of consequences. I can have a particularly boring day at the office without falling desperately ill as a result. I can listen to people speak about things to which I am opposed without wanting to jump up and squeeze their necks until their faces turn purple. I can be the person I want to be.
They are like icecream for the soul – icecream coated with chocolate covered with glace cherries, covered with more icecream, with a medium rare premium porterhouse steak on top of that, and an ice cold schooner of Coopers Pale Ale sitting triumphantly at the top.
Al, you are quite correct in noting that the plural of "anus" is "ani". Although since most people are not Latin scholars, it is acceptable to also use the plural "anuses". However, I prefer "ani" because why contribute to defining deviancy down? Keep up the good work in maintaining high educational standards.
Al,
It is my extreme personal pleasure to leave the fourteenth comment on this, your latest blog. (Unless somebody comments while I'm commenting) but anyways getting back to my comment; one time I bought some New England Clam Chowder at a deli for lunch, this cunt in my office told me and everyone within earshot that it smelt like old kooch, I told her; "well I guess you would know?"
Maybe I'm being too harsh calling her a cunt, she was a dyke.
7,000 pussies, Al? I didn't know you were a graduate of the John C. Holmes School of Mathematics.
¡Viva La Revolución!
Al: I don't know if she is an old jew cunt, but what about getting together with my favorite actress, Gloria Leonard? Don't forget to wish her a happy birthday tomorrow!
Imagine,
I always like reading your comments and I'm glad your still posting. It's funny you mention John C. Holmes.
Al is a prince when you consider that Holmes:
1. Prostituted and beat up children
2. Worked without protection or telling his partners he was HIV Positive
3. Was probably responsible for the Wonderland murders and what followed
4. Was a drug addict who used people
5. Was a sociopath who did a lot of damage in 43 years
6. Was a pathological liar who used the Adult industry to get away with crimes we may never be able to prove and so on...there are many worse stories about Holmes
John C. Holmes was far from clean when he died and I'm still amazed there are people this unhealthy in our society who still have fans that buy books and documentaries, etc. Holmes has been dead for 20 years and there is nothing to brag about - NOTHING!
That is truly sobering.
Al says 7000 women and he is still unhappy. Will we ever learn?
P.S. Al likes ass - Holmes was a coprophiliac who liked his meat dirty. That's dirty...and he picked up his whores on 5th and San Pedro in Los Angeles. No shower or bath for about 5 days.
So much for higher standards...
Al, I bet all the old Jew bags are too busy supporting young goim so they can eat their mojo to keep them feeling and looking young.
So you'll have to stand in line. Maybe you can be a cream pie fuck lick attendant to lap up the sloppy seconds. Bon appetite, Alvin.
Independent Film Channel aired a flick apotheosizing Larry Flynt the other night. Why does Al Goldstein remain such an unsung hero of the pornoverse?
8===============) ((
I agree. John Holmes didn't have a single redeeming quality, unless you consider his horse-like schlong redemptive.
Interestingly, Holmes spent his final years complaining he'd been abandoned by the industry he played a large part in creating. Sound familiar?
¡Viva La Revolución!
Al does not have to sell himself as a victim!
Al can still be a revolutionary without becoming a liability. I think he misses a lot of things and Al needs to rescue Al ASAP.
Imagine - your right on. Other men were just as big or bigger than John C. Holmes but they did something with their lives and did not just throw it away.
As for the final years of Holmes - Fact: We will never know how many people he killed and hurt with his HIV Status and these books that worship him are garbage! Holmes actually makes Ted Bundy look good and that's really saying something. Holmes exploited the Adult Industry in the worst of ways and the Industry is still exploiting his image. That's really sad and nothing to be proud of...John C. Holmes lived a 100% wasted life!
Al Goldstein can still reinvent himself - if he wants to...
Al - what do you want to do with your life? Make a new plan and tell us all about it.
Yes John Holmes worked while knowing he was HIV positive. But not one person was infected. I've read much about him throughout the years to know not one was infected by him. Not even Cicciolina who he worked with was infected. She's alive and healthy.
News Flash! The ghost of John Holmes' 14' cock was seen raping smut sluts in Porn Valley.
In recent years the disembodied monster meat spirit has become the most infamous ghostly appendage of horny Hollywood.
It haunts new age web stars who only do girl/girl, cum dodgers who don't do facials and bukkake girls who don't eat all their oral sex food.
John Holmes cock still lives in celluloid and between the loins of adult manholes who don't put out.
Beware! Spit, swallow, drip, drool, gag, gargle, foam, felch, burp, blow bubbles. Before it's too late!
New thread -
If McCain and Palin win the election, I predict the Adult Industry will need a new home and that includes Al Goldstein.
Are readers of this Blog aware of what these two individuals believe in?
It's not just the Adult Industry that will feel the heat as well.
Plan to Vote in November and share your thoughts while Al writes a posts about Sarah...
Any thoughts - pro or con?
Strangely enough, I'm glad you're still with us Al.
But, don't think we're going to be sharing long hot showers until the wee hours of the morning.
Vanderleun
Heck with old jew cunts, Al. Talk about Palin's right wing shiny snatch.
Al - What were some of the most expensive watches you had to sell? I'm curious because I'm in the market for a new timepiece and I only want the very best.
The best watches to get are: Patek Phillipe Nautilus, Rolex Daytona Stainless Steel and a Patek Worldtimer.
Also were back to wondering where Al is again & how he is doing? Seems like we are back to monthly blog posts. Has anyone heard anything from Al?
If McCain wins, I predict that Al will retire. Al is no match for Sarah and seems to be overwhelmed with a variety of problems.
Moose would let us know if something was up and the Adult Industry would make it public if Al were on his death bed.
Perhaps no news is good news. I miss Al every week.
Don't forget to vote - this is big. I can see Sarah running the country and the debates begin next Friday 9/26/08. This election will be close and all readers will feel the results - if you know what I mean...
I wish I could get in touch with Al, but his phone is 'temporarily disconnected'. I hope his brain is still connected...I will try and contact other people who might know if he's in the apartment rotting until someone smells him and calls the morgue.
Moose,
Thanks again for your support and by the way - Garrett Morris (now 72) has a web and is doing very well. He's on Wikipedia also.
Please google him. It's impressive and so are you. I have not seen Manny Neuhaus (Man of a 1000 Reviews and former editor of Screw) or anyone else that formerly worked with SCREW post on this Blog with the exception of yourself.
Marcia, you are such a treasure of a friend to Al and to all all of the readers of this Blog. Al is so fortunate. I can't say that enough.
As always, I wish you well...
Booble needs to fix the public comment number again on Al's home page!!!
It's stuck at 31 but it's 32 so others don't know about fresh comments.
Booble needs to check this Blog for comments that may not belong here as well as check on Al from time to time. I don't care how much money Booble is making as an Adult Porn company - they have too many blind spots and that reflects poorly on everyone.
Booble - please raise your standards and take some responsibility...
Well, I don't believe in kicking someone when he's down and you, Al, are down. Oh my, but you are down. Still, I think you've got plenty of company from what I hear about people in the porn business. Sure, there are a few survivors - damn few. But most threw away their lives and their futures. It's sad and nothing about which to gloat. But honestly and setting aside your past, good or bad, you seem like such a mean old fart that I can't see why anyone would want to be near you, let alone help you. You are the perfect example of a guy whose karma has come back at him.
I really hope you adjust your attitude and make the best of what life you have left. I hate to see anyone in your state of mind and existence.
35 comments and counting!!! I don't know if that last comment will really help Al?
Al, can you name one person in life who you have not fucked over, shit upon, or otherwise pissed on? You complained that I've forgotten you. The nightmare is to remember you!
anonymous wrote:
"I don't know if that last comment will really help Al?"
Whether it helps Al or not, it's the truth.
Al is compelling only because he's so breathtakingly obnoxious. His venom might be entertaining to us, but can you honestly imagine what it must be like to actually live with an interpersonal train wreck like Al Goldstein? I mean, c'mon: he's been divorced 5 times and his own son wants nothing to do with him. Almost everyone who knows Al hates him. This didn't just happen by accident.
But of course, lovable 'ole Al will never consider the concept of genuine introspective inquiry. It's much, much easier to just blame everyone else.
Or maybe it isn't...
It's been a month since Al's last post. This seems to be the longest period between Al's postings. Wonder where he is. Amazing how many people seem to dislike Al in the comment section.
Al was unique - I always miss his FU segment from Midnight Blue. Everyone would love to say FU to people and businesses that wronged them. Al was one of the few who had guts to do it. He also seems to be paying the price for his doing it though.
Al should move to Century Village in Florida and find a nice elderly Jewish Woman to take him in. He still seems to have his tongue skills intact and he would be a big celebrity down there.
Imagine,
All things considered, I think Al has done and is doing his best.
I would normally say I disagree with you but Al has stated that he does have a variety of severe personality disorders and mood disorders and I think this may be as good as it gets for him.
I notice Histrionic Personality disorder and Bipolar Mood disorder the most - even in the Vlogs that you made comments on.
Al has had a pretty rough life and it's sad to see his life like this.
Al's life looks like a mess but I believe there are many roads to Rome and he could make a comeback.
Time will tell and Imagine I always enjoy reading your words. I just wish Al felt the same way and responded to your comments.
d.brown,
FU does carry a hefty toll. It reflects very poorly on the individual and can hurt you later on. It's not worth it! Just look at Al today. His behavior turned on him and his irritability got the best of him. Al once stated on this Blog that he was always afraid of being assassinated and that's no way to live. Hardly anyone knows who Al is today - even in the Adult Industry. That's sobering to say the least. Decent, grace, civil.
It's better to treat others the way you would like to be treated.
Most of the nation did not watch MB and those who did quite often did not have millions or support the corporations Al ranted about.
What's this mean? Bottom line, it was Adult Entertainment which mainstream society may have been curious about but never connected to and that includes women - religious and non religious. This was the biggest market and Al missed it 100%.
Gerard Damiano who directed many of Al's favorite adult films (including Deep Throat in 72) is living with his adult children at the age of 81 and never became the next George Lucas. Damiano is a class act.
Al or Gerard - truth is stranger than fiction. Al will be back and Gerard has retired.
There is a YouTube on Damiano from the mid-70's and some new footage with Al and Larry Flynt that's just so funny - it was filmed before Larry was shot in 76. It may have been a scene from the very first MB. I suggest you check out the latest on YouTube while Al writes up his next epic at the age of 72/73...
Whatever can be said about Al Goldstein's personality it must be said that SCREW was a great publication when it was Al's personal property. SCREW was Al's soapbox and I think it lost its edge in late 2002 when--for legal reasons--Al and his staff could no longer feature those provocative, politically-oriented covers.
However, Al's reputation would be better maintained if Bill Lustig were to release additional MIDNIGHT BLUE DVDs in the near future.
I'm willing to bet that in the event of Al Goldstein's demise the Michael Medved wannabes will attempt to exploit him for the sake of a few cheap laughs. Some future up-in-coming pretentious filmmaker will probably churn out a movie that will probably depict Al as a well-meaning but naive putz whose life was destined to end up as a disaster. And, that movie will end up being shown on the International Film Channel.
Al, don't die on us yet. We need a running porn pundit commentary on the upcoming depression & revolution. So stick around.
Al Goldstein, publisher of 'Screw' magazine and producer of 'Midnight Blue' passed away yesterday at Brooklyn Medical Center. He was 72.
Though once a recognizable fixture on the adult party circuit, Goldstein's life had taken a drastic turn for the worse in 2004, often relying on handouts to make ends meet. Over the past 4 years, he has survived on the good graces of Ron Jeremy, a former adult film actor, who provided food and lodging for the aged prince of porn.
"Al was an old prick but he was a lovable old prick," said Jeremy, who states that he had given Goldstein more than $100,000 over the past few years.
"I'd give him a grand on Monday and he'd call me on Wednesday saying he needed more. Sometimes I was afraid to answer my phone. If Al needed something, he always called me. I was always there for him."
Goldstein had been in poor health over the past few years. He is survived by a son, Elud. Funeral arrangements are pending. Gifts and donations can be made to the Al Goldstein Center For Free Speech and Clear Thinking at the Manhattan chapter of the Church of Scientology or to the Ron Jeremy Institute of Acting and Cerebreal Pursuits at Temple Shalom Ben Avatar.
Moose,
Is this true and correct?
I think we are all fearing the inevitable passing of Al. There is no news about this anywhere at the moment (if it is true).
Al is mentioned in a September 23 NY Times article about Grove Press's Barney Rosset. Anyone else have any updates?
d. brown,
I find this news alert of Al's passing so hard to believe and I strongly disagree with a good portion of the content.
Bottom line: I don't know and there's no news on Google news or AVN or anything.
Al told me Ron burned him and he was an atheist. It was Penn who carried Al. There was nothing mentioned about Scientology, etc.
I am speculating that this is a sick joke. Even Booble has not left a comment and he is survived by more than a son.
I just don't believe this has any credibility and we will know soon enough.
Where's the death certificate or social security index records - all this is public. It's not Hippa.
Is this Sol? It did not come from his web or Blogger account so how do we know if even one word is true?
We don't!!!
Al's dead and I think it's disingenuous of all you fucks to act concerned for him and to treat him posthumously like he's a hero. No one gave a fuck about Al when he was alive, except for the frequent handout from Ron Jeremy. Not one of you fucks passed Al a couple of bucks while he was alive, but now everyone wants a piece of him. Well folks, it's all gone. Even his bastard kid has the watches. CiCi took everything she could get her hands on. And Gonzo never went up to visit him.
Fuck all of you!
When I read this, I literally cried my eyes out. I couldn't even go into work today. Al Goldstein was without a doubt one of the greatest Americans in our history. Without him, we'd be living under a dictatorship and in concentration camps. His likeness should be on Mount Rushmore. He saved the constitution.
I have $100 that I'd like to contribute to one of the memorial funds listed but I don't have an address. Can anyone help with that?
I can't take any of this utter nonsense seriously. I consider the obit a lie and Al did more good than bad.
Enough for now...
Well, I laughed uproariously at Bernstein's "obituary," especially the third and fourth paragraphs.
Good stuff.
Al, however, will probably shit his Depends when he reads it.
anonymous,
Thank you for your kind words (assuming they're genuine).
I hope your tongue was firmly planted in one of your cheeks when you wrote "Al has had a pretty rough life." He has fallen on rough times only in the past five years or so, and he's only lying in the bed he made. Whether anyone likes it or not, that's an irrefragable fact.
Who is the #1 victim of "The Goldstein Curse" now?
Ok, I hate to be crass but I need to ask this of anyone with inside knowledge. Did Al have any gold teeth or caps? See, the thing is that he owes me $275 and I know he was basically broke. And, I mean, he won't be needing the teeth now. So just what is standard practice for an indingent corpse? Do they remove teeth? I know, I know, it sounds sort of crass but why bury the guy with several thousand dollars in his mouth?
I suppose this as as good a time as any to reminisce. I think back 30 years ago when Plato's was in it's heyday. I was one of the frequent 'purveyors' and recall seeing the great stars of the golden age of porn enjoying themselves to the hilt. Seemed like Al was always there, though he was most often feeding at the trough of whoever happened to cater the food on that particular night. I never had the guts to partake. Plato's was not the cleanest place and the people who ate at the table had just come from sessioning in anal (the perversion du jour). But Al never seemed to mind. He just gobbled it up like there was no tomorrow.
And then he'd go and lay on one of the many 'love beds' and call out like a stuck pig for Sprinkle or Serena to give him some head. It was funnier than hell.
Well, that's my Al story. Rest in piece, you motherfucker. Yeah, he died owning me some cash, too, but I wrote that off years ago.
Still no confirmation on his passing. No news coverage at all. Does anyone know the circumstances of Al's supposed death?
From Beth B'Nai of BIM...
It was confirmed that "Mr. Goldstein passed away Tuesday night in his sleep from complications stemming from diabetes. There were some unusual circumstances surrounding Mr Goldstein's death and the susequent disposition of his remains. His body was accidentally taken to the Museum of Modern Art where it remained for 12 hours until someone realized that it had actually been a real human being. Upon discovering this, the body was then take to an undisclosed crematory where it was melted down and is curently being auctioned on Ebay. Because any gold content in Mr's Goldstein's teeth was unknown, his ashes are being auctioned 'as is' and without any refund policy.
"Mr. Goldstein's organs were immediately harvested for donation upon his final lapse into a coma and I am pleased to report that today there is a 6 year old wild boar walking around with a new heart and a 12 year old ape enjoying the benefits of his new set of lungs. Reports of a 58 year old upright walking hedgehog with a new brain are erroneous."
I think this is simply a disgraceful way of handling an American hero. We all bear some responsibility for Al's demise.
Shame on us!
I just heard on the radio that Al Goldstein died of a Caverject overdose. Is this true?
Oh please God no...
Imagine,
Al's life has been a mess from start to this moment. The last 4 or so years may offer the only picture of the Al nobody knew.
Even with $ and family, he was never happy and his chosen career became a liability. His book was written after his fall from glory and is quite revealing.
Bottom line: Al has lived a very sad life and that's a shame when you think of the options.
I believe he's alive and it would not surprise me if he wrote some of these "flame" comments.
On the other hand, I could be wrong.
Imagine,
Al was victimized by his personality and mood disorders that were left untreated and just consumed him.
Currently he's receiving treatment but what can you do after almost 70 years of severe neglect.
Some would argue that the last 5 years saved Al's life from Al.
Everyone who has posted a comment on this site will be 72 someday and aging is something of a stigma. Are we ready and will we be in better shape than Al?
Something to think about...
NEWS FLASH BEING REPORTED ON LOCAL NYC RADIO......
Both the boar and ape rejected Al's organs, and have died.
Damn dirty ape!
Unconfirmed Update:
OK all you fiendishly devoted Al Goldstein lackeys, lickspittles and bootlickers, apparently there's still hope!
Al did indeed overdose on Caverject, but THANK G-D it wasn't a lethal dose. However, because Al injected himself with 200 mcg instead of the Doctor-prescribed 20 mcg, he is now suffering from a severe case Priapism, which causes long, extended, powerful and painful erections.
When four hours of staring at Photoshop-enhanced pictures of a fully nude Rosie O'Donnell in a myriad of gynecological poses did absolutely nothing to calm Al's raging kosher pickle, he was then Life-Flighted into the Jewish Hospital and Medical Center of Brooklyn: Nursing Home Division, where he is receiving treatment from "old jew cunts" for this most embarrassing condition. The nurses were visibly frazzled after just a few minutes of exposure to Goldstein, but I'm sure that after a few days of up-close and intense interaction with lovable 'ole Al there will be at least one of 'em willing and ready to let him "savor her anus."
Tyrone 14x was one of the nursing assistants who prepared Mr. Goldstein's room. "Dat Jew devil was juz lying on da flo, flat on hiz back," Tyrone explained. "His 4 inch pecker was standing straight up, straight up and down, just like the Washington monument!" The normally solemn Tyrone then exploded into an uncontrollable fit of laugher and had to be escorted out of Mr. Goldstein's room.
Al didn't have much to say, only a few barely decipherable prattlings about Ron Jeremy not being there to help, as usual. On top of the perpetual eleven o'clock pecker, Al seemed to be sedated from the dozens of drugs he's on.
Story still developing. More later...
that sounds like a new sequel to me...say...
The Devil in Mr. Goldstein
This fucking sucks. I hope all of you cheap bastards who greedily ignored Al's not-so-subtle hints to send him cash are feeling better now.
Al was a good man with an interminable list of positive contributions to mankind.
Negative posts SUCK - Period...
List those contributions - Please. A new thread is needed.
Thanks...
"Because I feel that, in the Heavens above,
The angels, whispering to the King,
Can find, among their burning terms of love,
None so devotional as that of "Al Goldstein,"
By that dear name I long have called you -
You who are more than a pornographer unto me,
And fill my heart, where Death installed you
In setting Al's spirit free."
Salty tears cascade down my face as I conjure up some of these warm memories. Babs is helping me along with her heavenly rendition of "The Way We Were." I poured a crisp glass of Chateau Latour... this open nerve has just begun.
Both porn and mainstream historians are in complete agreement on how Al's legacy should be remembered. Al Goldstein was a living, walking, breathing epitome of genuine altruism. Like a paunchy Jewish Santa Claus, for 72 years he blessed this G-d forsaken planet with the finest literature produced since a German man named Johannes Gutenberg fired up his movable type printing press for the first time.
But mass literature distributions wasn’t Al's only technique of disseminating delight. His presence alone is a gift that only a very few lucky schmucks ever got to benefit from. With all the grace of Lady Di, Al's sweet spirit warmly illuminated every room he entered, causing a wash of radiance that immediately transformed every forbidding face into a picture of pure joy. Al could change the atmosphere of a party quicker than a tornado can change the landscape of a Kansas cornfield. He was always the nucleus of every party or gathering, whether he wanted that job or not. Like bees to honey, men and women of every age, class or creed would congregate around Al's unconquerable charisma, and they always walked away vibrant and spiritually enriched.
A modern-day kosher Ghandi, he always placed his own needs dead last. His own staff eventually became concerned at just how little attention he actually paid to himself. "Please Al! Take a break and stop worrying about other people's needs so much. Take some time out for yourself, even if it's only for a day." But Al would have none of it. "No, no, no," he would reply with a 52 millimeter cigar dangling from his lips. "There are hurting people out there, and I must do everything in my power to alleviate their suffering." And that he did, almost every week, non-stop, for 36 years.
Like most folks with a kind heart, he was frequently brutalized, both emotionally and financially. Getting divorced just once is enough to completely ruin many men, but our beloved Al was bludgeoned five times with those grueling proceedings. And on top of that, Al's warm, obliging heart was truly broken when he found himself estranged from his son.
Yet after all of this, Al remained a bright light for the common folk. His dazzling blog is a stimulating potpourri of unique insight, wisdom and commentary. Like a loving father disciplining his son, Al would occasionally lash out at his readers, but the prudent amongst us knew he was only trying to help the users he so deeply cared about. He wanted us to become better people, and sadly, most of us have failed.
I bid you farewell, Most Honorable Al Goldstein. You are now off to get the reward you so richly deserve.
Imagine,
I disagree. I feel that you and I are better human beings and have grown. Imagine, Please celebrate this. I love your writings and will comment more shortly on your post.
I do not know Al's status as of 9/27/08 but I'm sure it's coming.
Imagine,
Al may or may not return but you are still a genius. Create your own Blog using Blogger or TypePad. I'd love to read more and feel you have a tremendous amount of value to offer. If you check the archives on this page you will see it in all of it's glory.
I have to run but more soon...
P.S. Some feel Al has passed on but Imagine, you are more than alive! What about your gifts?
As we wait for Al, any comments on the debates? This election is going to be big.
Vice Pres. debate on Thursday, October 2nd. Please don't miss this and please plan to vote.
...AND HOW DOES MITCH HAASE FIT INTO ALL OF THIS?
LOUIS FROM THE BRONX!
Someone told me they spotted Al sniffing bicycle seats in NY; so he's alive and well. I'll try and get him to start blogging again.
Mitch is missing in action and I miss his comments. Mitch is unique and truly a super guy.
Mitch is part of the original core that has posted here since the early days. He's a great writer and I admire his wit.
I hope he's ok?
The more important question is: how does all of this fit into Mitch Haase?
anonymous,
I'm not sure which is more sarcastic, my obituary for Al or your comments on my writing.
I tapped that out last night in the middle of an Ambien haze. Cut me some slack, chief.
P.S. Why don't you select a pseudonym for yourself?
Imagine,
I think you deserve more respect, dignity and appreciation. I wish Al had seen more light through your day on many occasions. Al did miss your points about the Vlogs, for example.
I saw the light and that meant the world to me.
I used an alias for a brief period but anonymous seems to be a win/win in general for Al's Blog.
I was not being sarcastic - I just felt you deserve better.
And, Ambien has a very heavy side effect profile. I would suggest you stay current on this profile as others have died and it was preventable. I mean that in a very caring way.
Re: Ambien, others died from taking this drug - they did not overdose, just to be clear.
If Alvin is indeed gone, his hasbeen heyday will go down in history as a martyr for the 1st Amendment whose karmic payback was ageist senility and abject poverty. A man so vile and filled with narcissism that he was a Dickens character come to life in the bowels of smut. He will be missed for his anti-establishment wit, humor and painful honesty.
But there will no hospital wings named after him. No academic literary scholarships. The only porn greatness is in having survived it. Al didn't survive his own legacy. He was a victim of the same system that he thumbed his nose at. And he never found love.
In short, the late Al was porn's Jesus Christ. And lost fame and fortune was his cross and crown of thorns. Only jerkoffs will worship his memory. Just as only small vermin admire big rats in the gutter.
Porn has no history, just a past and a brief note about Al Goldstein -
The Rebel will never be valued enough in this society. The world needs more guts and more rebels.
Al screwed up and he did us far more good than bad. I wonder if any of us will ever know how lucky we are? Life would look very different without Al.
That's really saying something...
8/21/08 - Al wrote the original post that were commenting on and today it's 9/28/08. 78 comments so far breaks all the records.
Al will love reading all this. He once stated that it's keeping him alive. I hope it keeps him on track as he returns.
Fan boys can pontificate. But bad asses like AG never die. A word to Al, stay off the fucking meds! They will kill you long before old age.
Al, Call 1-800-Medicare and get a second opinion on your health status. It sure can't hurt to try.
Ron Sullivan aka Henri Pachard died from cancer yesterday 9/27/08. Ron produced and directed a number of hot adult films that pleased Al with high ratings.
Jamie Gillis was often hired. More at AVN. Really good write up by Mark Kernes. Pretty sad death though. Ron was a super guy.
Sorry to hear about Henri's passing. I remember him from usenet.
Eric Edwards is also dying of cancer, or at least that's what I heard about a year ago.
This is a wonderful 'obituary' for Al when he does die; it can be reprinted in the NY Times as a full page 'remembrance' to him and read aloud at his funeral service. Meanwhile we all need to pray he rises from the dead (I mean BED) and starts blogging again.
I saw Al tonight in the dumpster of the Carnegie Deli.
He was covered in half eaten Pastrami and Cole Slaw. I suggest the Carnegie hire Al as a waiter or better yet as a Porter. He would get free food and can be his regular nasty self like the rest of the Carnegie staff.
Anyone know why Al was fired from his last deli job? I think thats the last job Al held. If the Carnegie doesn't hire him then a group of us here should take Al out for a nice kosher deli experience.
d. brown,
I read that he was fired for sleeping at the job location. Al did a good job, put in his hours and still had a tough time making rent.
I felt it was really cruel that other options were not explored rather than termination.
In the end, everyone lost. Al was not appreciated and I was very disappointed.
Al always deserved better...
Imagine,
I think Moose is referring your obit.
Re: Eric Edwards/Cancer
Eric appeared in the famous Linda Lovelace New York loops from 1969 (including a red hot anal in Dogarama shot by Bob Wolfe aka Lawrence T. Cole. Linda did some very wild loops before Deep Throat including pissing, fisting, footing and more) and while fighting cancer (more info from the AVN site and wiki) he remains active in the Adult Industry although he is not currently acting. Eric acted through the 90's.
I hope he makes it...
test
AVN reports that Missy has passed on. Very interesting story on their web and only 41. Pretty sad.
Hey Goldstein. Are you in a coma or what?
"Imagine,
I think Moose is referring your obit."
I saw that and I'm flattered, but I don't really like the obituary. It definitely needs editing.
I honestly don't even remember writing it. If nothing else, hopefully Al will get a kick out of it.
Will Al ever post again on this blog. This is by far the longest he has gone without any word from him. Has anyone seen or spoken to Al?
I just obtained Al's latest cell phone number, and will call him up and see if he's mumbling/ranting or raving and report back to his loyal following. Give me a few days please.
CAN WE LOCATE MITCH HAASE AS WELL? MAYBE HE KNOWS WHERE AL IS?
Mitch has his own Blogger Blog and the address and hyperlink is listed on this (Al's) Blog.
I'm sure Mitch would love to hear from you (and others too).
Please let us know what happens?
Thanks
Al seems to be OK yet unavailable to us for undisclosed reasons. Al is not dead and his best friend "Moose" will help us connect shortly.
I hope Al returns to a stable schedule and it may take another week to get some details.
It's 10/2/08 and the vice pres. debates are only minutes away. Please don't miss this as the election of the century is approaching.
Blue Underground has a fancy thing up on their front page, celebrating the release of the Midnight Blue box set - or a tribute to the great, deceased Al Goldstein? You decide!
http://www.blue-underground.com/
I miss the Al rants. Who will take over this blog when he's gone? Did the meds do him in or did he die from the humility of senile poverty? Masturbating minds wanna know.
There will never be another Al Goldstein.
Who takes over? Booble - the host will most likely keep the archives up as it generates traffic and entertains a new and different generation for the history books.
It would have been cool to see every issue of Screw and all volumes of Midnight Blue on the Internet but that's unlikely to happen. But who knows?
I don't know what's in Al's will. I mean regarding intellectual property and I don't know if Al would tell about who has the rights to what. So, you may have to wait for Al to pass on to find out.
I hope that's a long ways away though.
test
This post is from two months ago. Is Al ALIVE?
Moose will let us know Al's status shortly.
Please see post above for more info.
Thanks
It has not been 2 months since Al's last post. Maybe 2 calender months have passed but not 2 months (60 days).
that is an excellent obituary imagine, even though you are a commie.
you really are a good writer. pity that part of your brain is rotted with the most evil ideology in the history of mankind.
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