Eating Out
posted by Al Goldstein @ 10:36 AM
14 comments
Blog of Screw Magazine Founder Al Goldstein
Al Goldstein, champion of the First Amendment, Creator and Host of the ground-breaking cable show Midnight Blue, and the world's dirtiest old man, shares his unique and entertaining views on porn, politics and the web.
14 Comments:
Al, Why would you want women who are not worth your time? Pastrami is better and you can clearly see the forest through the trees.
Sexy ankles and breast. Al, you have been such a great role model to all of us for driving the point home that it's not the hair we should be looking at but what's under the hair that counts. Mistakes do count in life (they make you smarter). These incompetant women you have encountered may look like a million dollars but would never deserve you in a million years.
These women don't deserve you because they don't treat you with dignity and respect. The fact that your in your 70's makes you even more valuable and that would take a thousand pages to write about. Pick better or different women and you will be back in love again. This Vlog had a super location. Al, you look so good outside in the sunshine. That was fast and tight at just over a minute. Fast and tight sums up a lot. That buffet ain't missing anything. Those red hot women are missing you and that's one fantasy they will never get to eat out unless....
Al, Thanks again for helping us develop a full intergrated sex life and please tell us where we can send the cheesecake. Paulina just made one and it's dripping with you. You won't find that at the buffet table.
Please let us know when your Hustler article "Married to the Mob" hits the streets so we can read up and be current as well as any other recommendations?
Moose hit the nail on the head in your last comments section about Female Viagra and keeping your pants on while blowing your partner (my words). That was intimate, true and charming. Moose is a true friend with lots of cool stories. Al, Her comments are always appreciated. She is a real treasure and really cares about you. Look for these type of qualities at the buffet table of "Life".
Last Vlog was good but perhaps too serious for some readers based on the comments. Viagra has not helped everyone which can be quite depressing but your points were well made and your blow-up after discussing the death of your parents forced us to get the message. 60% of women can' have an orgasm. How much of this is in the brain? Swallowing? After the pre-cum and even with a condom, the partner already has-so this is an oxymoron that people still don't get. I think your Vlog theme was used with purpose and leaves me wanting more.
Al,
I would pay to watch you fuck a pastrami sandwich.
Mitch Haase
Al,
Why don't you combine the two for maximum pleasure, pussy with cheesecake on top! : )
man/ice pick
Al, did Katz's Delicatessen undergo a change of ownership during the mid 1980s? I haven't visited that highly renowned institution since 1985, and I was told that the guys who used to make the sandwiches were replaced around that time. The guys I'm talking about would give you additional slices of extra-lean pastrami on your sandwich if you slipped them a couple of dollars.
Speaking of extra-lean pastrami there used to be a deli called Schwartzberg's whose specialty was serving lean pastrami. That place was located near Manhattan's Beth Israel Hospital.
I have been told that Pastrami King which used to located in Kew Gardens, Queens relocated to Manhattan--is that restaurant still in business? There are very few Jewish-style delis left in Queens and there isn't a deli in Nassau County which has a reputation that rivals the legendary Pastrami King.
Al, It's an All American Mothers Day weekend and I'm taking my Mom out to her favorite French restaurant. I love the picture of you and your Mom you posted a few months ago and my Mom loves it too. My Mom thinks your such a super entertainer and watches all your Vlogs. She's very old and makes you look like a spring chicken but feels so alive when she sees you in action. I'm proud of that as well as so many other things. I'm very sad that your Mom passed away but I'm thrilled to the max that your still here and I hope you live forever. I could never say enough good things about you and what you have done for the sake of humanity.
Thanks more than you will ever know.
i still like katz's pastrami and corned beef. tastes as good as ever to me.
Good porn, like a hot pastrami sandwich, is best appreciated when it cannot be easily obtained. I attended college in Canada during the late 1970s and I used to miss such basic pleasures as going to a delicatessen where one could order a pastrami sandwich served on seeded rye bread. Montreal's Jewish-style delis didn't serve pastrami--at least the kind that can be found in the metropolitan New York City area. Instead, Montreal's delis and restaurants serve something that's called "smoked meat". Smoked meat is a brisket of beef that has been either smoked and/or pickled but it tastes more like corned beef than New York style pastrami. Smoked meat usually tastes like very spicy corned beef. And, Montrealers' idea of a pastrami is usually an eye round instead of a brisket that has been "smoked".
I recall that lox was a surprisingly rare commodity in Montreal. In Montreal lox is spelled l-a-x instead of l-o-x and it's only sold at stores that are located in predominantly Jewish neighborhoods.
Speaking of porn Quebec's censorship board did not allow hardcore adult movies to be shown in Montreal theaters. I recall that the movie theater that was located in Montreal's equivalent of a red light district would only show heavily-edited "soft" versions of the American hardcore movies as well as the "mild" versions of the European women-in-prison movies.
Al, you'd better be ordering kosher pastrami you fucking whiny bastard.
al, do you ever wish you were fat again so you could eat 5 corned beef sandwiches in one sitting?
Al: who is going to step up now?:
The Porn War Heats Up
The DOJ took your spankies away
By Mick Farren
Maybe no one should have been surprised that the War on Pornography still continued, although assumptions that it was on hold were all too easy to make. Alberto Gonzales was replaced last November by Michael Mukasey as Attorney General of the United States, and the low-profile Mukasey appeared to be doing very little at the Department of Justice beyond attempting to provide smokescreens for the various illegalities of the Bush administration, defending everything from waterboarding to wire tapping. Rumors even circulated that rank and file FBI agents were less than keen on being assigned to the bureau’s Washington-based Adult Obscenity Squad, preferring instead to tackle terrorism or organized crime rather than a Bush bouquet to the decency-obsessed religious right.
The outward appearance was that attitudes had mellowed since Janet Jackson, at the 2004 Superbowl, ignited the indecency witchhunt that drove Howard Stern to satellite radio and aided George Bush’s reelection. Unfortunately for those to whom pornography is a free speech issue rather than a moral blight, enough federal prosecutors – mainly appointed under John Ashcroft and Gonzales – retain the less-than-mellow mindset that porn is an evil to be eradicted from the downloads and DVD players of the nation. The Department of Justice’s Obscenity Prosecution Task Force is still looking to take down the adult smut peddlers, even to the point of allegedly diverting funds from kiddie porn investigations to do it.
These DOJ porn fighters may have been lying low since October of last year, when they failed to obtain a conviction against JM Prods and company owner Jeff Steward for distributing the movies Filthy Things 6, American Bukakke 13, and Gag Factor 15 & 18, but a few weeks ago, on April 8, they rejoined the fight as a Washington D.C. grand jury handed down federal indictments against porn producer John Stagliano and his companies Evil Angel Productions and John Stagliano Inc. for “using a common carrier for the conveyance of DVDs containing obscene films in interstate commerce,” “to sell and distribute DVDs containing obscene films” and “using an interactive computer service to display an obscene movie trailer in a manner available to a person under 18 years of age.” The videos cited as “obscene” were Jay Sin’s Milk Nymphos, Joey Silvera’s Storm Squirters 2 and a trailer for Belladonna’s Fetish Fanatic 5.
Stagliano faces maximum jail terms of five years on each obscenity count, while his companies could be hit for multiple fines of up to $2 million – in what can only be described as a selective prosecution. Neither the films of Steward nor Stagliano are the most extreme to come out of Chatsworth, the center of the U.S. adult entertainment industry, but they are quite capable of shocking a provincially minded jury, even if Evil Angel’s Karen Stagliano excuses them with calculated coyness in an interview with Adult Video News (AVN) as merely “girls having fun doing things that maybe you don’t always do in your normal bedroom.”
The material chosen for this case suggests the underlying agenda of the DOJ’s Pamela Satterfield, who leads the prosecution, might be to use a conviction in the Stagliano case as a federal benchmark for what is acceptable pornographic content and what isn’t. If other convictions of porn producers were to follow, they could create a restrictive framework of legal boundaries inside which the adult entertainment industry is forced to work. This would, of course, represent ad hoc federal censorship and a total violation of the letter and spirit of the First Amendment. But the defenders of decency have always exhibited a cavalier, if not cynical, disregard for the Constitution.
One also has to wonder if Ms. Satterfield and those like her at the DOJ truly believe they can eradicate an industry with an estimated annual gross of between $10 and $14 billion, in an environment where porn, especially on the Internet, is omnipresent in contemporary culture. Or is their real goal to control the porn industry by becoming the ultimate Orwellian authority that actually regulates content?
Mick Farren blogs at Doc40.blogspot.com.
corned beef is beautiful,
I too liked Al much better when he was an obese lardass.
Al Goldstein & the Bull
Al Goldstein and Otto & George
Al,
I like your fantasy theme that has now come up more than once. Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D invented "The Fantasy Bond". Tom Peters reflects on the value of creativity and I think it's cool how you have brought both together to show us how we can produce a higher quality life and eat lots of Pastrami. Cool.
Readers,
What happened to your comments? Where are you? Just because Al is trying something new while he scans hardcore pictures does not mean comments are off forever. Just a few months ago we hit a record of 72 (even though Al states 73 to be his age in a recent Vlog - Death and Viagra) comments and now it's too quiet.
Is it summertime? Al once stated that half his readers were Bipolar and the other were just plain crazy. Summertime weather often means Mania and perhaps some readers have left their computer to travel. Who knows for sure?
Is everyone else beside the 13 posters present out of town or out to lunch?
Any thoughts?
the only interesting thing al's been doing lately is insulting his readers.
don't get me wrong, i love it, it's the funniest shit on this blog. photos and stories of fucking bitches is good too.
al could also talk about how his son stole watches from him but whining like a new york jew gets old after the 5000th time.
there are plenty of readers of this blog who will comment when they see something interesting, as they have done in the past.
Post a Comment
<< Home