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Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Toe Flexer

33 Comments:

At 10:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al,

Your obsession with sex is anything but a many splendored thing. Quite frankly, it's sinister and creepy. Women do not want to have sex with 72 year-old men, especially broke 72 year old men, and most females would recoil in terror at the thought of your fungus-coated tongue sucking on their toes.

This is by no means intended to insult you, as I have nothing but the upmost respect for the accomplishments of porn legend Al Goldstein. But facts are facts: your sex days are long over. It is preposterous to brag about paying for sex, anyway.

You say you want meaningful dialog and a thoughtful exchange of ideas, then turn around and discuss Sno Balls and complain about pussy. Perhaps if you stopped whining and actually started discussing intelligent topics, you'd receive the earnest tête-à-tête you so desperately seek.

For example: this week marks the 96th anniversary of Leon Trotsky's (of righteous memory) stopping of the Bolsheviks from usurping the name of the worker's newspaper Pravda ("Truth"). Pravda served as an accurate source of information for Soviet workers all the way until 1991, when it was closed down by the drunken buffoon Boris Yeltsin.

Why not discuss that, instead of damaging your readers for life with horrific mental images of you indulging in your foot fetish? Remember, Trotsky (ORM) was a free speech pioneer while you were still a twinkle in your mother's eyes.

Viva La Revolución!

 
At 10:56 PM, Blogger georgetheatheist said...

Al, how long do you sit in your feces until your attendant wipes you clean and puts on a new Depends? The initial anal discharge is probably very exhilarating but after awhile it starts to itch and smell. I truly hope you are not in discomfort for too long.

 
At 11:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For someone who hasn't earphones and the ability to hear you kvetching in person; it's only a photo I see; and the comments from your long list of fans. Take your fingers out of your ass long enough to write your column again...

 
At 11:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al, your latest vlog has encouraged me to post yet another message about Bill Lustig's apparent inability to release another MIDNIGHT BLUE DVD. Lustig's company doesn't carry too many DVD titles that are of an erotic nature with the exception of those in the MIDNIGHT BLUE series. I wish more people would contact him for the sake of getting him to release more DVDs that feature you at your prime instead of releasing those cheesy european Women-In-Prison movies.

 
At 12:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al, why won't Bill Lustig's Blue Underground company sell his collection of MIDNIGHT BLUE master videotapes to another firm since he's apparently too reluctant to release more of those great MIDNIGHT BLUE DVDs. I originally intended to say that you were at your peak--not your PRIME (oops!) when that cable show was televised. And, I consider it to be a rare treat when someone is kind enough to post your classic "F@ck You" editorials on You Tube.

 
At 1:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al,
I feel you will get more girlfriends and lots of action as well. I disagree with imagine and think you have more to offer than other partners half your age if not younger. Many women like older men. I think your sex days are far from over and the number is far greater than the paltry 7000. That's very humble. I miss your column. Why not ask Larry Flynt to buy the "Midnight Blue" collection or someone who wants a treasure of an investment?

Al, you are not sinister and creepy because of your obsession with sex but rather just as hypersexual as ever. Is it Histrionic and does it matter? Just enjoy it...

And, you sound happy in this latest Vlog. That makes me happy. Women love their toes licked and we all know your not broke - not that you need money to get laid.

Question for imagine: What does Trotsky have to do with Al or anything related to sex or this Blog and Vlog? This is an Adult site.

 
At 1:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

al, who cares if you paid for sex? Your needs were satisfied and that's the bottom line. Experience is experience. So what if you saw hookers? So what....

 
At 1:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

please don't stop the Vlogs

 
At 2:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Imagine:

WHERE IS A GOOD ICE PICK WHEN YOU NEED ONE!

 
At 12:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

imagine, I think you are living in the past and are so way off you don't even know it.

be obsessed on being clear and write something positive to al for all to see.

get a reality check. you need it bad and I really mean that.

 
At 12:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

imagine, there is old saying - if your not pissing people off your not doing your job but your pissing people off and your not doing your job. your comments are insulting, offensive and inflammatory and burning your own reputation. Is this the type of diatribe you want to hear when your 72? Al does not deserve to hear this material from you. Don't you have anything positive and honest to say. This is a Blog and not a toxic dump! imagine, maybe you need to visit the famous love canal? google that if you don't know it.

 
At 3:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice vlog al!

Not big on toes.

I'm a heel and ankle man myself!

 
At 6:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey imagine, if you're going to start talking about commies, i might as well start talking about smearing shit all over myself. it's all the same to al, except mine is funnier.

 
At 2:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonymous wrote:

"imagine, there is old saying - if your not pissing people off your not doing your job but your pissing people off and your not doing your job. your comments are insulting, offensive and inflammatory and burning your own reputation. Is this the type of diatribe you want to hear when your 72? Al does not deserve to hear this material from you. Don't you have anything positive and honest to say. This is a Blog and not a toxic dump! imagine, maybe you need to visit the famous love canal? google that if you don't know it.

Exactly what did I say that was dishonest or insulting? Nothing. My comments can only be construed as demeaning if they contain untrue statements, but they don't. Women don't enjoy fucking senior citizens, that's an irrefragable fact.

Al has asked for an honest, intelligent exchange of ideas, and that's what I gave him. If you want to sheepishly kiss his ass and do tongue swirlies on his perineum for every word he belches out, then knock yourself out. That only shows you have no insight, no point of view.

I'm trying to elevate the discourse.

Viva La Revolución!

 
At 2:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ibm selectric lover wrote:

hey imagine, if you're going to start talking about commies, i might as well start talking about smearing shit all over myself. it's all the same to al, except mine is funnier.

Yeah? So? What the fuck do you want from me, an engraved invitation? Feel free to tap out as many scrupulously detailed anecdotes about wrapping yourself in shit as you want. I couldn't care less.

Viva La Revolución!

 
At 3:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Imagine..

you say Viva La Revolución! I would want a Trotskyist revolution just after I would like an enema with bleach.

Ol' Leon sold out the revolution long before Joseph sent him scurrying off to his future destiny with an ice pick.

Do you think old Trots revolution would have had any room for sexual freedom? Nothing in history, his writings or his actions would indicate so.

He was just another would be dictator of the proletariat who lost his play to be the man.

 
At 6:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialism_and_LGBT_rights#Communist_states

All Communist states have banned associations of lesbians and gays, whether social or political, and have outlawed the publication of gay and lesbian materials.

Often, particularly during the 1950s and 60s, lesbians and gays have been denounced, fired from their jobs, imprisoned, deported, and, in some cases, castrated or even executed.

 
At 6:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yo, this post is for the attention ho psychos who try to turn every topic and debate into a flame war on either politics or juvenile personal insults.

Hello. This is the blog of a timeless porn legend. He is here to talk about sex, sleaze and hedonism because that is his forte and he is well qualified. This is for porn fans who live and let lust, not sexual havenots who get no pussy and think too much.

Al may be an old man, but he has lived and lusted so much in one lifetime that you would have to be reincarnated countless times to catch up with his female hole belt notches, bought, sold or not.

My only complaint is that the video blog is ruining the flavor of this site because it is too casual and informal. Al is a great writer. And the written word demands more respect. Video blogs are a sell out and Al's true voice screams louder in prose.

 
At 3:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Video blogs are a sell out"

was midnight blue a sell out?

 
At 3:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

test

 
At 7:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

al,

my wife ran up $50,000 of debt behind my back. should i leave her?

 
At 1:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al, your Vlogs are getting a lot of hits and traffic on the actual YouTube site. I hope you saturate the market and perhaps we can have your writing and video - the best of both worlds. Thanks for being there for us.

 
At 3:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

al, don't listen to what imagine says, there are lots of old yentas out there would love to get their assholes eaten out.

old people fuck other old people all the time.

adultfriendfinder.com has shitloads of wrinkly bitches who want to have their orifices reamed.

get on it al and go fuck yourself some elderly pussy and tell us all about it.

stop whining like an old jew and take life by the balls again, even if it's only to get some old lady twat.

 
At 6:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al, tell us about the best and worst asses you've eaten.

 
At 5:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

al,

tell us about your dinner with gloria steinem and marlo thomas in 1984, when you won that auction.

 
At 6:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is a cliche that men want their women to be ladies in public and hookers behind closed doors. I want my woman to be the sharper image robot so that she can be turned off.

- Al Goldstein

 
At 3:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey al, why don't you stop your bitching and whining and go back to driving cabs?

seriously. you maintained your license all those years and for what? to not fall back on it and cry like a girl instead?

if al goldstein in 1974 could see you today, he'd shoot himself right there on the spot.

 
At 11:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"tell us about your dinner with gloria steinem and marlo thomas in 1984, when you won that auction."

Al had dinner with Gloria Steinem and Marlo Thomas?

That must have been an interesting dinner.

I vote Al tells us that story too.

 
At 11:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

commie loving faggot lisped:

al, don't listen to what imagine says, there are lots of old yentas out there would love to get their assholes eaten out.

old people fuck other old people all the time.


I don't think Al is referring to 80 year-old women when he discusses licking toes and reaming assholes.

Viva La Revolución!

 
At 11:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

imagine no homos wrote:

All Communist states have banned associations of lesbians and gays, whether social or political, and have outlawed the publication of gay and lesbian materials.

Before you eat too much hypocritical pie, take an honest look at how amerika has treated fags then get back to me on that, k?

Viva La Revolución!

 
At 11:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"realmanofgenius" (*chortle*) wrote:

Yo, this post is for the attention ho psychos who try to turn every topic and debate into a flame war on either politics or juvenile personal insults.

Al refers to his readers (including you) as "coagulated turds stuck up the asses of camels," and you say this is no place for juvenile personal insults?

LMFAO!

Al can take honest criticism without some ebonics-spewing weenie holding his hand.

Viva La Revolución!

 
At 1:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Imagine, it's amazing how "right on" you are about so many of your points. Perhaps I need to take another look at myself and thanks for the timely comments.

I can't speak for the others.

 
At 12:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with RealmanofGenius. The written blogs were much more focused and well written. This stream of consciousness stuff shows Al as he really is - without editing - and it's a little too real for me.

 

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