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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Am I losing my mind?

I am afraid that in a few years I will be nothing but a mindless old man.

You ask about my life... well, it has been a struggle lately. I am not the Al Goldstein of vitality and vigour anymore. It used to be that my mouth was my weapon but now I think this weapon needs to be sharpened. I still have the serpentine tongue that could do wonders with a pussy and give it a good lash to make it cry, that I hope I would never lose. But, my brain may have become tired and plaque-formed. I keep forgetting the simple things like names and phone numbers... Yet I can recall my experiences in life dating from when I was 5. I think I may be getting selective amnesia.

I am proud to say that I could still remember my sexual experiences and even feel them in my mind. Why I ask? Is it because of the integral part these hisotries played in my life? I had an MRI done last week and I am awaiting results. My doctors are afraid that I would end up the same way my father ended up, demented...

Well, these are the trying times of Al Goldstein. If I forget who I am please remind me that I was once the world's greatest pussy eater, in the mean time I need to look for an heir to pass this crown along to... why not write to me and tell me if I hleped you become better in the bedroom or wherever else?

It would make me feel worthwhile...

22 Comments:

At 12:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al: You "still" need to get someone to publish your life story, before you become fully demented ! Speaking of books, I once read Gloria Leonard was writing one, do you or any readers know if it's done and where I can buy a copy? You, Gloria, and Ron Jeremy were the best, and always cracked me up. I would even buy a video of you 3 discussing your times spent in the Adult Industry. Get well,Al.

 
At 5:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are an american hero. A strom trooper for the first amendment. You are the reason all these guys are running around the internet, free men, and women, some (not many) rich, basically turning their obsession with sex into dollars AND NOT GOING TO JAIL.

 
At 7:25 PM, Blogger Zen Wizard said...

You were truly an inspiration in your salad days. Your sheer chutzpah was a wonder to behold.

However, you have the potential to still inspire us, yet in a different way.

Fight back this condition, whatever it is! (If, in fact, it is anything at all...)

 
At 1:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al... I'm an LA based filmmaker. I'm watching the documentary "Porn King" as I type.

I love to write a movie about you... what's the best source of material on your life other than this film... and you.

tdigga

 
At 6:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al: I'm demented , it's not so bad ! Signed, Leader of North Korea.

 
At 5:10 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Al,

You have inspired me from the time I was a child. When you published those photos of those two dudes having queer sex in 1969, it was then that I realized I was a straight man who likes a little queerness when I jerk off. You have helped me discover who I am.

Please continue writing your blog, it will be live on for eternity.

 
At 5:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You losing your mind would result in huge progress toward cleaning up the universe. Your followers are the scum that grows around anything foul and rotten. You know it too. It's hilarious the way people admire you for being one of the least evolved humans on the planet. Demented? It seems it would be progress for you. So don't worry. Dive headlong into oblivion.

 
At 11:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al, I have a lot of respect for you but come on, you are a mindless old man and have been for a long time. It's part of your charm! Keep it up, if you know what I mean.

ViceReview

 
At 12:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahh, don't go feeling bad about life. They say those who live guilty lives die sooner....
You, my friend, have lived an interesting one, an dmost definitely one that many would envy. We all make bad decisions, it's what we do after those decisions that often defines us.
Take care of yourself, Al. There's still life to live.

Papa Josh

 
At 11:53 PM, Blogger Doctor Lao said...

Dear Al,
All I can say is that I genuinely love you. You taught me how to stand up for myself and how to enjoy life to the fullest. You taught me to laugh and you taught me that the universe needs a good chewing-out every once in a while. All I can say is THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. I wish I lived in New York. You'd never want for lunch. You are a genuine hero to me.

 
At 9:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Al, when I was in New York I saw the grube tube - Steve Gruberg on TV. Do you still keep in touch with him? I remember years ago you appeared on Steve Grubergs show and answered questions from callers, you said you were sitting there "digesting", ha you were funny!

 
At 8:13 AM, Blogger Bill Chinaski said...

Al: A friend of mine sent me the following quote and attributed it to you:

"I'm a good believer in capitalism, which when you're making it is wonderful and if you're not, it fucks ou and stabs your heart and rips your entrails out. Without money, you're dead in this society. When I had no money, I had nothing. Women didn't like me as much, I wasn't as charming. I was alone most of the time. Hookers never throw you a charity fuck and with shrinks I could not get therapy."

that's fuckin' brilliant! anyway, i enjoy your blog immensely, keep up the good work! check out our website, www.alternativereel.com someday. i'm curious to know what you think . . .

 
At 3:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Goldstein, how about contacting me...I'm still in the phone book, same city/phone nos. The Moose

 
At 10:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

AL- I haven't seen you in a long time and have missed you yelling across convention floors " Cindi, why don't you quit that rag you work for and come and work for me at Screw!" I was sorry to hear that you fell upon hard times. I will say, although you are an old grouchy pervert, I have ALWAYS liked you and have a great deal of respect for your "NO FEAR" attitude. I hope you are doing better. I saw your picture and you look wonderful after losing all that weight. Please get in touch to say hi. I would be happy to post some of your thoughts on my site, or even your qualifications if you are still looking for a job. Would you want to move to Florida?
xoxo,
Cindi Loftus Writercindi@aol.com

 
At 5:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Al: You will always be special to me. I HAVE always and WILL always praise you and defend you, consistently and constantly, in interviews and in my own writings, including in my second book (my memoirs) which I am now writing, and in private as well. I don't want to hurt your reputation you worked so hard to get, but personally you are a kind and sensitve man that I have always felt honored and proud to know. Contact me sometime. I would love to hear from you.
jody@jodymaxwell.com, www.jodymaxwell.com

 
At 9:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, Al. This is Hank Rose. I'm a hasbeen stud you once graced with the honor of writing for Screw way back when. I feel your pain. I'm a dago lucky to find a Jew wife to love me for my dick rather than my wallet. Been trying to help porn cross over in my salad years with this porn cartoon sitcom. But all I run into are young boheminan suits who only greenlight reality shows. My ship ever comes in, you will be the first guy I call to offer a job. If not, then I guess we're all in the same boat due to the freebie Internet generation having destroyed this industry. Hang in there. You are still porn royalty amongst us old timers and are not forgotten. Drop me a line sometime at hf4th@yahoo.com

 
At 1:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al: I just read your interview at LukeFord, I'm so happy that you're still kicking around. It's great to hear that you no longer homeless. Thank god for Penn and his appreciation for what you done for us. You were, and still are important for what you did for free speech. It is a shame that more people cannot realize that, and don't come out to help you more. Everyone falls down every once in while, but don't let the bastards get to you. my sincere wishes that your book will do well, and I hope things will become smoother in your life. You always spoke the truth as you saw it, and I for one admire you for that. God bless, Al.

 
At 4:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You may have not helped me become better in the bedroom, but you helped me to express myself. I still have VCR recordings of your rantings on MIDNIGHT BLUE. I play them all the time, and everytime I do my mom screams:"TURN THAT WIERDO OFF!"

 
At 9:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Today's the one month anniversary of al's "Am I losing my Mind?" post. Where is al? Has he finally lost his mind? Where are you "Clown Prince of Porn?" Where are you?

 
At 3:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al, you inspire me to reach my fullest potential when it cums to wanking off to queer sex.

You are the undisputed king of the cock suckers! Long Live the King of the Walking Erections!!

 
At 8:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Geez, Al, are you actually committing your inimitable persona to the keyboard all by your lonesome these days (on the blog at least)? Congrats on the book!

& as you know (but probably forgot), unfortunately you & your rancid, perverted, freedom of speech-lovin' worldview have been a major influence on my life ever since I stole peeks at my first SCREWs when I was 12, followed a coupla decades later by an extended tenure at what was still the best & most important job I ever loved -- slingin' the tortured puns at The World's Greatest Newspaper.

love,
dac

 
At 3:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your problem is likely due to stress, and long bouts with it. We live in a society where sexually repressed assholes and hypocrites roam free (like "Truth or consequences" dick bucket for example) and 70 years worth of some people can be draining.
Look into healthy diet alternatives (and I don't mean a stick of celery and seltzer for dinner!) Check out GaryNull.com at your leisure and see what you think.
Like Al Luis, you're one of those dirty old bastards we need pissing off these tight assed, phony, piece of shit puritans as much as possible for as long as possible.
Midnight Blue showed this shy, scared kid in the 1970’s, not just a lighthearted view of sex, it also clarified where and how our wonderful society was (and still is) full of shit. Your programming was unique because it wasn’t just people mindlessly fucking, it was insightful and, even though your mind is wandering and you seem obsessed with the end of days, you are still needed here. P.S, Too bad you don’t have a radio show on XM, it would likely have more listeners than “Dr” Cucumber in the hole Ruth ever did.

 

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