Why I am in charge of natural disasters... tsunamis, earthquakes and volcanic eruptions

My act of pussy eating and cock sucking have created very big natural disasters in the human population. When my tongue wiggles on a clit and slides on the pussy lips of a woman, vibrations pulsate throughout her body causing disturbances in the earth's rotation and movement. These vibrations set of the readings in the seismograph that are of great concern.
When the juices start flowing from the vagina, they make Mt. Vesuvius look like a a joke. When the clit becomes engorged and the pulsations of the pussy begin, the earth starts shaking, and there I am between two lips with a huge land slide.
That's not all, though. I have also cause grand tsunaims when I sucked cock. That's right, the semen produced is immense, like a huge thunderstorm, which causes wave like pulsations in the liquid similar to a tsunamis, almost wiping me out.
I was always told that I am the God of Oral, now I believe it. I do have extra special powers of seduction and performance... so beware the next natural disaster make strike you too... if you're lucky... If I struck you before, be happy because you were touched by God himself and you survived the wrath of his tongue!
10 Comments:
Hey Al.. I heard your old Friend Lyle Stuart Died June 26th.. what a shame he was a nice guy
Al, have you seen Ugly George's new website:
http://www.uglygeorge.com/
It's swell.
Maybe Lloyd's of London should pay you to be celibate.
al, who's got the best cock you've ever sucked? who's would you like to suck? tommy lee's? flint's? bush's?
4 Comments -Show Original Post
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Anonymous said...
Hey Al.. I heard your old Friend Lyle Stuart Died June 26th.. what a shame he was a nice guy
8:26 PM
I can't believe it. That was a friendship that was destroyed because of my "trustworthy" lawyer, that Lyle warned me about. Thanks for letting me know.
My sympathy to his loved ones.
***********
Anonymous said...
Al, have you seen Ugly George's new website:
http://www.uglygeorge.com/
It's swell.
Yes it is, my dick is swollen for some pussy !
*************
Zen Wizard said...
Maybe Lloyd's of London should pay you to be celibate.
They should, I might be able to afford a roast beef sandwich instead on a dollar menu taco
***********
joey said...
al, who's got the best cock you've ever sucked? who's would you like to suck? tommy lee's? flint's? bush's?
9:00 PM
Ron Jeremy's cock...as good as Jewish food cum
At least a taco sort of LOOKS like a pussy...
Al, it probably isn't much consolation when what you really need is a job .... but your guts and zeal in protecting our free speech rights is a legacy that will outlive all of us. If it weren't for you, Hefner, Flynt * Lenny Bruce, the only goddam printed material we'd be able to read would be Reader's Digest and Betty fucking Crocker's cookbook.
Thanks -- from all of us.
Oh Alvin.... you really fucked up this time.. I heard your beautiful wife and you have called it splitsville. I also heard that shes the one who has been writing your blogs..CAN YOU ANSWER THIS?
Why is it that everytime you have someone in your life, who truly wants to help you, who truly has good intentions for and with you... you shit all over them???? It makes no sense... looking back over your history, every person that ever tried to help you or advise you ... you shit on.. look at you now... I guess its true.. "what goes around, comes around"
best regards, nice info
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Best regards from NY! » »
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