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Monday, September 26, 2005

Number 4: Blonde Ambition

Blonde AmbitionI love Jamie Gillis and have chosen "Blonde Ambition" as number 4 on my "Al-Time" Top 10 Best Fuck Film list. (Gillis and Georgina Spelvin are possibly the best porn talents of the last 35 years.)

"Blonde Ambition" has a uniqueness and light touch that shames the video cinematic crap of the last 20 years, which has been defecated out of that vile asshole of video. Like vomit from a drunken college kid, the schlock of today's product makes me want to join The Moral Majority or a nunnery; to become virginal and rip my cock and balls off so I can dedicate my life to one of celibacy and abstinence. Where is Jerry Damiano and Sam Weston when we need creativity and inspiration? Today's films are just more flesh banging against flesh, like a knife slicing a sausage. Not so with "Blonde Ambition."

The pussies of today's smut are cunts waiting for their next topless dancing gig. The "stud muffins" of today live on Viagra and lead hallow lives relative to the artists and pioneers of the porn industry The robot-like performances of Ron Jeremy have driven more straight men into the arms and anal cheeks of homosexuality.

I have fond memories of Gillis. One weekend 20 years ago Jamie Gillis sent me his newest bimbo (for a personal review). For a hundred dollars I ate pussy for an hour (until my jaw hurt) and I shot a creamy load in her mouth. My frothy cum and her perfect body had me in a fiesta of flesh until the phone rang. It was Jamie and he felt left out and invited himself over. I accepted. With a self-imposed "time out," I recharged my balls for a possible second time. Thirty minutes later Gillis sauntered in and fucked his girl. Seeing him nail her turned me on and before the evening was over I shot a second wad. For a Jew it meant I had doubled my value and got two loads for the price of one. I made my rabbi proud and knew why I was one of "The Chosen."

"Blonde Ambition" is a spoof of "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" and it follows the careers of two vaudeville girls (Suzie Mandel and Dory Devon) who pursue acting work in New York. They find jobs in an X-rated version of "Gone With the Wind," which means with this movie you get two spoofs for the price of one (again, something we Jews appreciate). Gillis, who performs admirably in this movie, is a bit of an oddball by porn industry standards. An Ivy-League grad with legitimate theatrical training, Jamie will occasionally perform in mainstream movies and, back in the '70s, he would recite Shakespeare during sex shows in which he was performing to keep the police at bay. How many porn movies of today can claim such talent among their "actors?" Stop wasting your money on the mindless genetalia-pounding tripe that defines the porn industry today and rent or buy "Blonde Ambition."

9 Comments:

At 12:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a real shame about Al... did everyone see the story in the paper today?? Al, you should go back to work for Screw... they seem to be doing OK... they'd be better with you!

Everyone should know that SCREW is still really funny and great... all that's missing is the fat man! Check out www.screwmag.com

 
At 1:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"all that's missing is the fat man!"

You haven't seen al in a while, have you?

Al Goldstein lesson #1 - If your going to be broke, at least have stomach stapling surgery first. There is nothing more depressing than being broke and fat at the same time. In al's "lean" years, he save's money on grocery bills.

Al, Great choice for movie number 4 "Blonde Ambition" which I will definitely order, because you recommend it.

 
At 2:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Al,

You seem to be a shriveled, old man. Do you still have sex? Besides my mom?

 
At 3:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Captain Spivwang: What happened to Al ? What paper was the article in ?

 
At 4:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice movie. I like the eiffel tower as a phallus symbol on the cover. That shows originality, something sadly missing from today's adult movies.

 
At 7:21 AM, Blogger Al Goldstein said...

OK Dear copycat. Whats it feel like to be a parasite who feeds off the works of others? Have you ever had an original idea of your own????":Try to rip me off is what I expect from the printer and band of bandits who are trying to cash in on my 35 years of publishing Screw and my 21 obscenity trials defending the right of pornography to exist. Where were you when I was in handcuffs and facing an 18 year federal prison sentance?. You were in school copying the work of students who studied. You are a pirate of prose and a small dicked pile of steaming shit. I would fuck your lesbian wife but she cought the clap from you. You are a pathetic pseudo cretin incapable of doing anything orginal.It is so sad that everything in your life is stolen.Have you ever had an original thought?? Thank god people like you exist so you can have a second hand life.emulating the efforts of pioneers like me. ag

 
At 11:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is probably the reason al can't find a job in the pornography business. He's an obnoxious, narcissist pig.

 
At 1:29 PM, Blogger Al Goldstein said...

Thanks for praise for Booble and my efforts to give them respectibilty. If you are hesitant to declare you are reading my blog, how can I expect you to eat your wife's pussy? In appreciation for your kind words I will lick her clit and lap her vagina. That's what friends are for!!!!

 
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